After hanging up, he wonders who got the Groups. "Not me," he shrugs. L.A. still wants to know who Simon got. Nicole calls Paula right away, and Simon somehow got the word of Paula's assignment too, which he says makes sense. "If you think about it, a group's got multiple personalities, and they've got Paula Abdul as their mentor. Work it out." I'm trying, but my fingers are sore from how tightly Simon held my hand up to that point. L.A. calls Nicole and Simon, the latter of whom he tells, "You just met your match, so all the best to you." He signs off as they both laugh. Simon tells us that the judges are all in competition right now, working with their contestants. "If they win, you win. Nobody wants to lose." So they don't have anything at stake but bragging right? Or do they get a chunk of the five mil? Ha ha, what a stupid question.

Next week, the people still in it travel around the world to "Judges Homes" [sic], where they'll compete for spots on the live shows. "32 become 16," Steve says, and a lot of people are going to get pretty emotional about it, looks like. But we saw a lot of people crying in last night's previews for tonight who are still in it, so I'm not getting too worked up. Does anybody really think one of these people is worth five million dollars? Actually, I do. I think they all are. Especially if you combine them and add up the total.

M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.