X Factor
Boot Camp #2

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Putting the "Boot" in "Boot Camp"

It also doesn't go well for 4Shore, who can't pull off complicated harmonies this fast and try to make up for it by having their lead singer walk off the stage and finish in the judges' faces. Little Ladiez (who!?) blow what may or may not be "Ain't No Sunshine" while taking their jackets off. Makenna & Brock essay a country/blues version of "Billie Jean" that divides the judges (with Simon on the no side). Siameze, whose borrowed time is racking up compound interest at an alarming rate, screeches "Creep," inducing visible headaches. "Everything about it was...not...right," Paula says, somehow being inarticulate and totally nailing it at the same time. So with all these people trying and failing to do unique versions of their songs, by the time Brennin Hunt comes out and says of his Alicia Keys song, "I can guarantee you've never heard it like this," Simon's eyes narrow with hate until they're parallel with his hair. Simon rudely calls L.A. over to complain to him while Brennin's still singing, and even more rudely calls a halt, asking why he wouldn't sing with just a piano. Brennin says he wanted to think outside the box, and he's dismissed from the stage. Simon is starting to get very cranky, which gathers a crowd of production people to listen to him complain about "weirdo versions." He decides it's time for a break, so might as well put a commercial here, I guess.

Then the Stereo Hogzz are up, but not before we do a whole package on them so we know they'll do well. They're all dressed up for this performance, and they interview how there's five million dollars and five of them. Must be fate. Flashback to their first performance in Dallas where they earned four yeses (that's 1.25 yeses per Stereo Hog, in case you're keeping track). Simon's back at the table as they take the stage. "Anything you want to tell us?" Simon asks warningly, but the one who just had a baby just says he's dedicating their performance to his daughter, now one-month-old. Like she gives a shit. They do a tango version of "Cry Me a River" with some amusing choreography. Most of the judges loved it, but Simon is still grouchy, calling them inconsistent.

String of boys' performances: Brian "Stop Looking at my Moms" Bradley, hipster-cheeseball Philip Lomax, Chris Rene, and Nick Dean. Let's keep it moving.

Next is Stacy Francis, who still has those waves of desperation coming off of her like waves of burrito smell off Josh. She aced the first audition, then hijacked Boot Camp with one note last night. She's feeling the pressure, but when is she not? When she's out on stage, L.A. invites her to share something about herself. Which is already a cue for more of her unique brand of misery-porn given what we already know about her, but then she breaks the news that her father died on the first day of Boot Camp. Paula looks at Simon like, "Jesus." So there's a new interview with her all about her sadness and guilt over missing her dad's funeral. What is next with this woman? I can't wait until a live show when she reveals that scientists have just discovered a meteor on an unstoppable collision course with her. Her song tonight is "Summertime." She manages to not overdo it, putting in lots of notes and holding off on the really long ones until the very end. Standing ovation from the audience and 75% of the judges. Simon's still in a mood, clearly. As L.A. tells Simon that was deep pain they just saw, Stacy heads up the aisle, out the door, and right into Steve's arms. So that was pretty cathartic for her.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9Next

X Factor

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP