So with the recap behind us, the hosts bring out the judges, who enter from upstage with the members of their categories. Once they're all out there, Mario says it's time to reveal who made the top twelve by getting the most votes last night, all of whom will be back next week. Just like that? All at once, right now? This is going to be a short show. Mario busts out Steve Jones's old line about the results being in "no particular order," as well as several of Steve Jones's old dramatic pauses before announcing the name of Arin Ray. With similarly Pinteresque timing, Khloe names Paige Thomas. They alternate this way, also slowly dribbling out the names of Diamond White, Vino Alan, Jennel Garcia, and Emblem3 before we take another commercial break. So no, not just like that, not all at once, not right now.

Coming back, Mario does another extended-play remix of the X-Factor app sales pitch from the control room and then sends it back down to Khloe, who's introducing One Direction again. But first we get to have a whole retrospective package from their illustrious triumph on The X Factor U.K., starting with their humble individual auditions and culminating in this moment, in which they are the biggest boy band in the world, the pinnacle of human evolution, and revered as gods, verily. Okay, so sing already. They do. It's a ballad. It's pretty. The girls love it. But I have to say they probably tried a lot harder when they were still trying to win the competition. At least if the performances of their American counterparts are any indication.