X Factor
Live Results

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"Winners" and Losers

Commercials. I do appreciate these promos for American Idol that imply what a rinky-dink little imposter this show is.

Khloe and Mario do some ads for not just the X Factor app, but also some headphones, which Simon says are the best in the world, having had a hand in the design and all. And then there's whole sequence about the headphones with the contestants talking about how much music means to them (CeCe plays the bullied card, because that's what it's come to for her) and how invaluable these headphones are to anyone who isn't a total tin-eared philistine. Though not in quite those exact words. I was wrong; this is an agonizing wait after all.

The hosts bring out the mentors and the top six: Britney with Carly and Diamond, L.A. with Tate, Demi with CeCe and Simon with Emblem3 and Fifth Harmony. Mario says one of them is leaving the competition right now, but between the pauses and everything, it's at least a full minute before he finally announces that the act with the lowest number of votes is... CeCe Frey. At long last. She and her bedazzled leopard spots come across the stage and give a prepared speech about how you need to be strong and love yourself, while of course the expression on her face says "I WILL KILL YOU ALL." Demi, who's wearing leopard spots of her own in solidarity, says she hasn't had time to react so pretty much all that happens is a long hug between them that makes me hope they were both checked for weapons. Demi's the first mentor to be dropped from the competition as a mentor, but she's still in it as a judge. Even though having chosen CeCe probably should have disqualified her from day one.

After more ads, the hosts are ready to reveal some of next week's semifinalists, in no particular order. The first act named is Emblem3, who leave the stage while Simon moves to stand next to Fifth Harmony. Carly is also safe, which leaves Fifth Harmony, Tate Stevens, or Diamond White in the bottom two. And you know it's not going to be Tate, so Diamond's back in the bottom two, this time up against Fifth Harmony. Mario asks her how she feels and she says she feels awesome getting this far and is looking forward to killing her song. The Fifth Harmony member who looks like a young Jennifer Connelly says they'll also bring it. I don't know... I think the contestants' mansion is going to be a lot less crowded after tonight.

But before I'm proven right, Khloe is backstage with the bottom two, asking Diamond if her experience having been in the bottom two before is an advantage. Diamond gives a pleasant response that basically means that's a stupid question, which I can't argue with. Someone in Fifth Harmony stammers something similar, and then it's time for Ke$ha to take the stage and... you know, be Ke$ha. It's a surprisingly stripped-down production, which looks more like a Laser Floyd show than anything else, but I'm pleased to report that she's as awful live as on her recording. Except I'm pretty sure she's lip-syncing on at least the chorus. Several half-dressed cast members from Cats join her as backup dancers for the end, which doesn't come fast enough and the judges give her a standing ovation as well. Maybe their chairs are extra uncomfortable tonight.

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X Factor

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