Backstage after the ads, Khloe is so nervous on behalf of the two remaining acts flanking her that she's even more unable to speak than usual. As opposed to the actual Carly and Emblem3 guy, both of whom are way more articulate than she is at the moment.
Time for the Bruno Mars performance, and the list of his achievements includes "Over 1 billion online hits!" Whatever that means. He and his band do a laser-lit performance of his new song that looks and sounds like Kool & the Gang or something, complete with synchronized choreography from all the musicians. Except I don't recall Kool & the Gang being all that into lasers. Seriously, I can't believe nobody explodes. When he's finished, Mario says the wait is now over. After the commercials, that is. Which means the wait isn't actually over at all.
When we come back, Khloe boredly tells us that whatever happens next will definitely be a shock. And then, one long pause later, long enough to linger long and nosily on the faces of everyone from the finalists to the judges to the acts' families waiting nervously backstage, we find out the third act going to the finale: Carly Rose Sonenclar. So much for Emblem3.
Simon seems pretty disappointed, while Britney's face hardly moves. Sure, now she gets a poker face. Carly tells Emblem3 she can't wait to buy their album, and after she and Britney are dismissed from the stage, Emblem3 gets their bro on about how much they appreciate their fans, even though they just couldn't get it done this week. There's a long, overly detailed montage of their run on the show, but with all up and no downs so that one might wonder why they're leaving, if they hadn't been watching the season all along. Simon philosophically says this is the way it goes sometimes, although he's disappointed for the guys.
So it's Fifth Harmony, Tate Stevens, and Carly Rose Sonenclar as next week's finalists. One of them will win the season, and I think we all know who it's not going to be.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.