X Factor
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Five Singers: So Long

Time for Josh Krajcik, and the Josh-reel shows him at the actual burrito restaurant, where we get the shocking revelation that it is not Chipotle. He's a little humbler in the mini-interview than we've seen him before, but not much cleaner. His song is Bob Dylan's "Forever Young," and there's hardly any backing music, and the only dancing going on is a ballet couple way in the back in a separate spotlight. And that's it for Josh. L.A. says Josh has one of his favorite voices in the competition, and Paula one-ups that by saying it's her favorite of the past decade. Wow. Simon calls him "the artist I fear," and calls it the best performance yet. Nicole demands her props from the other judges, and says Josh threw out everything they talked about and did his thing, and she's proud of him for that. So no wonder she wants credit for being ignored.

Now it's time for Nicole to make her decision. Steve asks her if she has a plan or if she's going to wing it, and she says she'll wing it. As a side note, Steve asks her how annoying Simon is tonight, but doesn't spend a lot of time on it before bringing the Over 30s back out. Nicole's first two picks are Stacy Francis and Josh Krajcik, so no shock there. Now it's between the homeless dude and the 60-year-old. Steve rushes her as much as he can, and she finally gives the third slot to LeRoy Bell. Dexter admits to being confused, and whatever Nicole was going to say to Dexter is cut off by Steve as he tells the other Over 30s to hug Dexter. Well, at least one hug from Josh will prepare Dexter to return to his previous life. Kind of like a reverse delousing.

One category to go. Steve reminds us how Simon screwed up and ended up with five Girls on tonight's show, so he has to send two home tonight. Simon, over an impromptu subtitle alerting us to the existence of the Twitter hashtag #SimonvsLA (why promote Simon's conflict with the judge he's fighting with the least, including himself?), boasts, "This is where the talent starts." Which is pretty rich considering he's introducing Simone Fucking Battle. And hers is easily the worst performance yet, as even Simon cuts his eyes around nervously while she monotones from inside a swarm of dancers and a Mad Max: Beyond Chuck E. Cheese outfit. After she's done, L.A. starts right in, telling Simon, "Everything was right except your choice of contestant." L.A. still doesn't get why Simone's still in this competition, and adds, "You must be really rich, because five million dollars clearly doesn't mean much to you." Ah, now I get why they posted that hashtag. Simon just smirks at him, probably because he's quietly agreeing. "I love you, it's him I'm worried about," L.A. tells Simone. Nicole circles around a bit, stalling by telling Simone, "Hi, sweetie," and mocking Simon about its level of predictability. Paula says she wanted fewer dancers so she could see Simone. And Simon surprises me be doubling down on her, insisting she's a pop star, until Simon and L.A. fall to bickering some more. Break! No, I mean commercial break, not Simon and L.A.

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