X Factor
Live Show

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M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
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Five Singers: So Long

We come back after the local news should be starting, and I don't normally have to recap that. Instead, Rachel Crow's up next. The Rachel-reel shows such real, honest moments as her walking down the sidewalk with her friends licking ice cream cones, and she appears to have been made over into some kind of 1920s organ grinder character I'm not fully comprehending. Anyway, it's a mashup for her as well, of "Where Did Our Love Go" and Justin Bieber's "Baby." She's stranded up on riser steps while tween dancers dominate the stage, like Simon's purposely sabotaging her. When she's done, an impressed L.A. says Rachel could have a music career, but would also make a great actress. Nicole takes the opportunity to have a go at her mentor for not showing off Rachel's range more, and Paula agrees, adding that Rachel could run for president if she wants. High praise indeed, these days. Simon calls the ladies "Squiddley and Diddley" and comes right back at them on the song choices. Simon says he was showing that Rachel's a retro and pop artist, and says he did it brilliantly. I would have to disagree on that last part.

Next is someone who Simon says has only one name now: Drew. And then the Drew-reel begins with her saying, "I'm Drew Ryniewicz." Oops. Oh, well, I was tired of typing that mess anyway. Drew's song tonight is "Flashdance (What a Feeling)," and she's good as always, but one finds oneself wondering if she's ever going to pick it up or if it's going to be her usual thing where she does pop songs all slow and sad all the way through. I'll just spare you the suspense and tell you it's the latter. L.A. gushes about her, a little too close to his microphone. Nicole says she would go to Drew's concert, and Paula adds that Drew is way beyond her years. As for Simon, he tells Drew that he wanted to be back on American TV to find someone like her. But he adds that he likes all his girls, "and I'm going to have a horrible, horrible decision to make." Why not get rid of the girls that no one else likes, then?

Simon dedicates the next performance to "Cruella" and "De Vil," which is his way of saying that Tiah Tolliver's up. She squeaked through the first round all the way to tonight's live show. Simon has her singing a Vegas-revue version of Eurythmics' "Sweet Dreams," all dressed up as the deposed monarch of Rhythm Nation while extras from Showgirls writhe around her onstage. After it's over, L.A. compliments the production, adding, "I was looking for [if] the kid can sing." He does congratulate Tiah on being one of Simon's favorites. Nicole: "If that was a sweet dream, I'd hate to see what the scary ones are like." She says that Tiah and Simon are a good match for each other, which I think comes off meaner than she meant it to. Paula tells Tiah once again, and correctly, that she'll need to work on her pitch. Rather than offering any feedback, Simon uses his precious seconds of live television to throw a petulant hissyfit at Nicole and Paula for never liking Tiah. Well, Simon, there's a reason for that.

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