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M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
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Six of One, Half-Dozen of the Other

So there's the montage of Vino's whole time on the show and Khloe invites L.A. to offer his last words, which are that L.A.'s proud to call Vino family. And then he leaves the stage and Mario tells us that the rankings are coming up next. I forget about that every week until it happens.

So, here goes. Obviously Diamond White is in sixth place. CeCes' in fifth, barely dodging the bottom two again, but getting congratulated anyway on rising four spots from last week. Fifth Harmony are in fourth, which seems to please Simon. Mario tells us that only one percent of the vote separate the top three and then announces that the third-place act is Emblem3, probably due to Drew from that group drumming incessantly on his torso during this segment. Simon's glad his groups are moving up, but once again it's Tate and Carly in the top two. I'm starting to understand why these shows don't generally reveal the rankings. Mario tells us there's only one tenth of one percent between them, which sounds almost statistically insignificant, but winning is winning and Carly wins her second week in a row. She looks pretty excited and Mario tells us once again that one of the top six will win a five-million-dollar recording contract. As good as Carly is, I'm still not convinced that any of them is worth that much. How about they just give a million to each of them except CeCe and call it good?

M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.

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