X Factor
Season Finale, Part 2

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M. Giant: C | Grade It Now!
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All I Want for Christmas Is the End of The X Factor

After he's done, L.A. gives him some words of support from the judges' table. Then we all get to watch a bunch of clips from Tate's hometown of Belton, Missouri, made up of messages from Tate's friends, in-laws, coworkers, parents, townspeople, kids and wife. Of course it all moves Tate to tears; the only surprise is how long it took. He must be pretty coked up to hold it together that well. The bad news is that we also learn that his nickname back home is "Tater," and Mario makes almost immediate use of that information.

After the break, we're "welcomed" back by a Grinch-themed montage of Simon's meaner comments over the course of the season before he gets to introduce his favorite group "at the moment," Fifth Harmony. They sing "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" with some shaky, poorly mixed harmonies, and dance awkwardly with candy cane props while dressed in red and white like some mall Santa somewhere is going to get a lap dance shortly. It ends up being Simon instead of Santa, though. Given the theme of the final three's songs so far, I think we can assume Carly will be singing "I'll Be Home for Christmas."

Then there's a series of supportive video messages from the girls' family members, a surprising number of whom have accents. Khloe of course asks how this all makes them feel. Alas, none of them says, "Meh."

Then there's a montage of Britney's wackier faces because it's not like she's ever uttered any interesting words since coming on the show. Then she gets to introduce Carly, who's doing Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas Is You." Okay this I should have seen coming. She's singing from a fake living room set and joined by a small army of dancing nutcrackers, and she's more or less phoning it in. She alone among the finalists seems to have realized that there's no more voting.

Afterward, Mario gets a reaction from not only Britney but also Simon, because Britney never says anything interesting and we want to watch Carly squirm uncomfortably with Mario's arm around her for as long as possible. Then, during the video messages of support from her peeps back home, the shot of her in the picture-in-picture is pretty fun to watch, as she frequently forgets that she's on camera as well and occasionally looks bored and irritated. Then Mario grills her some more without taking his hand off her shoulder, to the point where Carly Rose Sonenclar becomes the first person in history to start wondering where Khloe Kardashian-Odom is already.

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X Factor

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