X Factor
X Factor

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | 403 USERS: B-
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Rock Off

Anyway, Lakoda Rayne's song is "Your Love" by The Outfield, which they perform on a stage styled like some ADD mash-up between Josie and the Pussycats and Jem and the Holograms, stranded up on little pedestals with their names projected on the screen behind them (because that worked so well for the Stereo Hogzz). Then they jump down and segue into "Go Your Own Way" by Fleetwood Mac. It's all very energetic and colorful and absolutely redolent of desperation, like when two of my cats died within a few months of each other and the third one suddenly got reeeeal friendly.

L.A. tells them this is the first time he's seen them having fun, but he's reluctant to go much further than "better." Nicole tells them to stop holding back, and Simon says it was "a complete mess." He goes on about how silly the choreography was until L.A. calls him on being mean and Simon coldly threatens, "Watch your back." Whoa, where did that come from? Paula insists that Lakoda Rayne are the heirs to the Dixie Chicks. Wait, the Dixie Chicks are dead?

They have a new graphic now to show which judge is "most popular" on Twitter, with silhouettes of the judges whose size indicates their share of the tweets. Simon has the lead at 53 percent, and also an obvious misconception that people only post on Twitter about things that are popular. Well, he just joined tonight, so he'll soon learn.

Steve asks Simon to introduce the final singer, even though there are still two left to go, but Simon would rather go on about his Twitter ranking before saying Drew will be singing a U2 song. The intro reel is partly about Drew's shocked reaction last week to L.A.'s lukewarm comments about the Drew Rut, and partly about how the teenage contestants (Drew, Rachel, and Astro) still have to go to "school," which of course is just three hours a day in a trailer with a "contestant teacher." Simon promises that they've nailed it this week, while L.A. gets a little catty about Drew always doing the same thing. Quit it, L.A., that's my job. But Simon promises a "very different Drew" this week.

Cut to Drew onstage, easing into a slow, creepy, minor-key version of "With or Without You." Well, the blue spotlights are new, at least. I keep expecting her to bust out and do something, but it's Drew through and through.

L.A. starts by complimenting her on the originality of her voice, but ambiguously says he still wants more. From behind a cloud of stage-smoke overspill that makes it look like her lap is on fire, Nicole cops to feeling frustrated at not seeing Drew bust out. And as much as I hate to agree with Simon, I might hate agreeing with Nicole even more. Paula reminds Drew that she has a big fan base, but she should take advantage of the themes to show some diversity. Simon just tells her to ignore the other judges because she has what it takes. And then Drew cuts Simon off to thank her fans. No, Drew, he said ignore the other judges.

X Factor

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