Stereo Hogzz sing "Rhythm Nation" with lots of choreography, quasi-military uniforms, and a small army of masked and helmeted Rhythm Nationals crowding the stage with them. They're great, if not completely flawless, and they hold their ending poses long into the audience's loud ovation. L.A. tells them they have what it takes to be stars, but it's up to the public now. Nicole tells them she knows how hard it is to be in a singing and dancing group, I guess because she's read about it, and says they did a great job. Simon is annoyed at how happy Paula is, but tells them, "I don't think there's a band in the world that's as good as you." Wow, Simon, hyperbole much? That sounds more like something Paula would say. When it's Paula's turn, they chant her name for a bit and get the audience going, until they finally calm down enough for her to gush over them while Steve tries not to look too nervous about the live television time they're burning through. Especially given the giant mouthful of voting instructions he's got to spout before the break, which I'm not going into. That information is no good to you here. Voting will over two hours after the end of the show anyway, long before you read this. If you ever do. You're not even reading it now, are you?
Better cover my bases anyway. Apparently they're done shoving everyone from each category together, because Chris Rene is next. In the intro-reel, he admits that he wasn't happy with his performance last week. Much like a lot of people. His challenge in rehearsals this week seems to be learning other people's songs, and also putting together outfits that don't make him look like a golfer who dressed in the dark.
Tonight, he's singing a hip-hop version of "Superstar" by the Carpenters, with a stage full of not only smoke but actual flames. Chris Rene is hott, y'all! After he's done, and the crowd goes nuts, Nicole speaks first, saying he sounds great and has grown a lot. Paula's also proud of him. Simon thought at first this was going to be a repeat of last week's disappointing performance, but Chris pulled it out. He just wonders why, in the staging, L.A. "literally put him in Hell." So British people can misuse that word too, I guess. At least he gets roundly booed for it. L.A. says they found the right material, and tells Simon that the staging was supposed to be about how Chris is hot. I got it, Simon. Steve joins Chris onstage with a lame crack about how he sounded heavenly, and Chris mugs tirelessly at the camera while Steve rattles off the voting numbers. Yes, vote for Chris so he keeps doing that.













Comments