X Factor
X Factor

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C | 405 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Pepsi Challenges

Coming back, L.A. oversells Marcus as a "two-time champion," which is a pretty generous description of someone who's been in the bottom two the last two weeks. Marcus appears onstage dressed like a shiny Blues Brother and singing an energetic version of "Ain't Nobody" by Chaka Khan, although with a somewhat loose interpretation of a few of the notes.

He gets a standing O from Nicole, who says God has a plan for him. Uh, Nicole, this isn't that kind of final five. Paula says he looks great, and that it's now an even playing field, which I think is her nice way of saying Marcus shook off his loser stank. Simon remarks, "I shouldn't be very happy with you, should I?" as though it's normal for a grown man to hold a grudge against someone else's kid who was more liked by the other judges than his kid last week. But he admits that it was a very good performance. L.A. just tells Marcus that everyone who loved Marcus tonight needs to vote. Steve joins Marcus, who promises Steve a shiny suit of his own. Man, just get Steve a suit with a long enough jacket. He looks like he should be holding an empty bowl and asking for more, please.

Coming back, Steve says we're only two weeks from the end before Simon tells us, "With her own choice of song, no chair, it's Rachel." Rachel Crow sings "Nothing on You" by B.o.B. in less of a dance style than a kind of disco Motown thing.

L.A., sounding like a teenage boy, asks what beautiful girls Rachel was singing to in the lyrics. Rachel's ready for that, saying she was singing to Paula and Nicole. Even L.A. admits that's a good answer. "I just love him," Rachel cackles, like L.A. Reid is some kooky fellow eighth-grader. Nicole says something about there needing to be a Rachel Crow doll that comes with its own bathroom. Paula exaggerates that it was Rachel's best performance yet. Simon makes a lame crack about the need for a Nicole voodoo doll, and says he's heard tell that Rachel used to do stand-up comedy. "Who told you that?" Rachel says shyly. More urgently, who's a former stand-up comic at age 14? Simon likes how it makes her a triple threat, not that we know what the second threat is. Anyway, she mugs and twinkles through Steve's voting instructions until Nicole introduces the last Over 30, Josh Krajcik.

X Factor

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP