X Factor
X Factor

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | 98 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
The Dirty Baker's Dozen

Coming back, Mario and Khloe are standing next to the judges' table so Simon can introduce the last group, which, thanks to America, is now called Fifth Harmony. Oh, good, another name with a number in it. We're introduced to the girls individually, for what it's worth. They say that they've been struggling without a name, but now that it's been taken care of all of their problems are presumably solved. They sit on stools and sing Christina Perri's "A Thousand Years" from Twilight, wisely showcasing Camila but also doing some decent harmonies. Which they kind of have to with that name, at least until it gets changed again. L.A. doesn't like this name either, even though he doesn't want to say so since America picked it, but he liked the song. Britney's impressed with their improvement since last week, and although Demi didn't love the arrangement, she loved the vocals. Simon gushes about how awesome they were and how proud he was, as if he's ever going to zing one of his own acts. If that ever happens I don't know what I'm going to do.

Mario announces that the voting lines are open, and the projection screens back him up by displaying multiple iterations of the words "LINES OPEN" in giant letters. So I'm thinking the lines are open. There's a quick recap of tonight's thirteen performances, and Mario and Khloe sign off. Mario says something astonishing, which is that none of the acts we saw tonight will go forward unless we vote. Really? None of them? Okay, nobody vote and let's see what happens.

M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.

X Factor

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