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The Dirty Baker's Dozen

Simon introduces Emblem3, who he says will be singing a song from My Girl. Wonder what it'll be? In their intro reel, we're reminded of their names (which I'm putting an increasing amount of effort into not learning) and find out that they've recently been evicted, so the contestants' mansion is the only place for them to stay right now. Clearly they're motivated to earn the grand prize that's as good as theirs. Onstage, they sing -- you guessed it -- "My Girl," but as a mash-up with Katy Perry's "California Girls." Quit it with the damn mash-ups, Simon. They don't seem quite as comfortable with the material as usual and are having about a tenth as much fun. In fact it's hard to tell whether they or Simon look more embarrassed. Still, after they've finished, L.A. can't find anything to be critical of, saying, "You were perfect, and I don't like that." Britney talks about how they made the song theirs, not having noticed that there was more than one. Demi stops mooning over them long enough to dis Simon for putting a One Direction shout-out in the number. Simon compliments them on their energy and adds that they just changed songs yesterday and got on with it without a lot of bitching. Well, that explains the performance, at least. Khloe says they could go on tour now, as is, probably because she wants to be a groupie.

We're keeping this going, as Britney introduces her second teen, Beatrice Miller. Beatrice tells us about her two moms and younger twin sisters, none of whom are employed right now, so it's on Beatrice to be the family breadwinner. We also learn in the intro reel that Beatrice's voice isn't currently at a hundred percent, and that seems to hold up in her performance of "Iris" from City of Angels. L.A., however, says the tone of her voice sounds like a hit record. I thought it sounded a bit more like a cold medicine commercial, but that's just me. Demi appreciates how much of her soul she poured into it, and Simon is impressed at how good she is for a thirteen-year-old. Britney compliments her on having the best personality, which is really a potential game-changer in a singing competition. Especially when one of the other competitors is CeCe Frey.

Coming back from ads in which tomorrow's Grease episode of Glee is promoted, Mario and Demi have to shout the introduction of Jennel Garcia over "You're the One that I Want" being blasted in the auditorium. Synergy! The intro reel shows Jennel telling her life's story to CeCe, and it's hard to tell which of them is more uncomfortable with this obviously staged arrangement. Jennel's making the most of her new Joan Jett bangs tonight by singing "I Love Rock & Roll," I guess from Crossroads. I think she's even singing it in Britney's key from the karaoke scene in that movie, although much, much better. L.A. says it was good, but dismisses it as a Joan Jett parody. Britney offers one word: "Hot, hot, hot." She's not so much a judge as a Magic 8-Ball. Simon tells Jennel that he likes her, but he doesn't like what Demi's done to her look. "That's why I'm her mentor and you're not," Demi says to Simon, who doesn't exactly look shot down. Khloe and Mario come to tower over Jennel while going to break. One thing's for sure: Jennel can only look so tough at that height.

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