This episode is pretty much a repeat of last week: someone finds an idol without a clue (Ralph, who I will now love forever simply because now Li'l Russell doesn't have his precious idol), Onomatopoeia loses the reward/immunity challenge, and Phillip is freaking crazy. In between all of this, Li'l Russell manages to get his grubby little hands on the immunity clue hidden in his tribe's reward basket, but Ralph sees him take it and calls him out on it. Li'l Russell denies having a clue and thinks he's so much smarter than everyone else, even though most of the tribe know exactly what he's up to and Ralph already has the idol, anyway. Over at Camp Crazy, Phillip swears his undying Federal Agent? allegiance to Rob, who doesn't really care. His alliance is ready, willing, and able to split their votes between Kristina and Phillip, but then Rob decides that Matt and Andrea are getting too close and when Matt runs over to shake the Zapato tribe's hands after their victory, his fate is sealed. Rob convinces the rest of his alliance to vote for Matt, tells Matt and Andrea to split their votes between Kristina and Phillip, and then tests Phillip's loyalty by telling him to vote for Kristina and seeing if he follows through. He does, but it doesn't matter since she plays her idol. Matt goes to Redemption Island having no idea what just hit him but taking it on the chin -- just like Jesus would.
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Sorry I missed the first episode of the season, but Kim did a great job covering and now I'm back! And really, all you missed from me last week was probably a ten-page-long rant on why Li'l Russell shouldn't be on this season and how he has basically ruined this show. All I'll say about it now is that I have been covering this show for six seasons and Li'l Russell has been on three of them. That just isn't fair.
So, previously on Survivor: 16 new contestants found out that any chance they had to get camera time was ruined by the arrival of Rob and Li'l Russell, who have played this game seven times now combined. Also, we have to deal with Redemption Island this season just in case Li'l Russell is voted out early so he'll be able to get back in this game and never leave my television screen for more than five minutes. Li'l Russell's tribe, Zapato, almost all hate and refuse to trust him, but that's fine with him since Rob's tribe, Onomatopoeia, is the one losing immunity challenges. Sadly, likeable contestants like Kristina and Francesca were on the wrong side of the We Love Rob majority alliance and thus forced to team up with Phillip, who is insane, thus resulting in the seemingly awesome Francesca being the first contestant to be voted out.
Francesca makes her way to Redemption Island. She doesn't have much to do or say about her situation, simply commenting that the Tribal Council was even crazier than she was expecting and she's happy to have a second chance and be away from her tribe and Phillip.
Onomatopoeia return to camp. Rob says that was one of the wildest Tribal Councils he's ever seen, and, as we all know, he's seen plenty of them. That's because Rob played this game back when they didn't cast people who are either certifiably insane or way too into performance art. I still haven't figured out which category Phillip falls into, by the way. Kristina says Tribal Council obviously didn't go as she planned and she really shouldn't have told Phillip about the idol, but at least she still has the idol and hopefully a chance to come back from this somehow.
Phillip gives Rob a big awkward hug and asks to speak with him. Rob clearly doesn't want to deal with this at all, but has to or else risk Phillip loudly proclaiming that he is a Federal Agent and then going off on a long, boring, loud, crazy rant that keeps the tribe awake all night until Phillip inevitably slits their throats. Phillip tells Rob he was almost "duped" tonight and that Rob now "owns" his vote "until" he is voted out. Way to play to win, there, Phillip. He rambles on about how he wants to play with integrity and honesty and all this stuff Rob has heard before from players almost as insanely delusional as Phillip is (Coach) while Rob, under the cover of darkness, totally rolls his eyes. Rob interviews that Phillip is a "piece of work" and probably a nice guy, but also insane. "Government jobs: stressful!" Rob concludes. I guess he doesn't have to worry about that since he doesn't actually have a job.