It's Mamawhore. She tells Bella that Will told her about the cotillion. "I'm just standing in for the girl of his dreams," she smiles. "Baby, you'll be the prettiest thing there," Mamawhore smiles. Bella laughs and says she'll be the one in the burlap sack. Excuse me, Bella, but aren't those seventy-dollar jeans you're wearing? "You and Will. Going to a dance," Mamawhore laughs. "I know, can you believe it?" Mamawhore asks if Bella needs a dress. "I've got this cute little red number, it's off the shoulder..." Bella gives Mamawhore the "we call you Mamawhore for a reason" look, and Mamawhore shuts up. She says to let her know if she needs anything as she slips Bella some money.
All of this changing going on, but no flesh. Will is finishing up the tux as Scout walks in from his shower. They are both rather dressed. "Will's gonna score after all!" Scout shouts. I'll leave that alone. Will asks Scout to help him tie the bowtie. Scout mouth-breathes for a second and then stands up in his half-dressed state and starts dressing Will. Will asks if he's going to make "a complete ass" out of himself. Scout says that it's an old-fashioned dance, with a few more rules and nicer clothes, but that's it. Will asks for a rundown. Scout starts mouthing off a list of rules when introducing your date, but I don't think anyone has done this since 1956, so I'm just going to skip it. Will gets confused with the rule about introducing an old person to a date and says that he's not going to even think about that stuff either. Scout says, "So, um, Bella's going to be there." Will asks if that's going to be a problem. Scout says that he's going with Paige. "You think she's gonna want me bad?" Will asks. "That's my sister you're talking about," Scout scolds. Will says he meant Liv Tynot. Har-har-har. "Just put a sock on the door," Scout says. Whee!
Bella busts into Grace's room and starts going through her closet. She asks where her white dress is. She says the dance is in an hour. And she's just getting ready? Whatever. She finds the dress crumpled in a ball in the closet. "Where'd you wear this, to a tractor pull?" She says the dress stinks of beer. How old is Grace, thirteen? There are bigger problems than your wrinkly dress, Bella. Check that girl into rehab. Seriously. Bella throws down the dress in a tantrum and shouts, "Do you, like, live to screw me?" Grace isn't phased by her bratty sister, as I'm sure she's just as sick of her as the rest of us are. I kinda feel bad for Grace, really. Bella finds some old shoes in the closet and asks Grace where she got them. She says they're their mom's wedding shoes and she found them in the attic. She tells Bella that she can have them, since they don't fit her, and goes to answer the door. "The dress," Bella says to the air, and storms off.