I have given up all hope.
Everyone is now dressed at Lake Homoerotica, and carrying around giant inner tubes. Terri wears a black tight shirt and walks past Ryder, who is smoking a cigarette. Terri sits down at the edge of the pier. Verve walks down wearing a tank-top and passes Ryder. "There's no smoking in school, Butt Boy," Verve snarks. "Huzzah!" come the shouts of thetruth.com. Ryder exhales and says, "Rather ironic insult coming from you." Ha! Verve just stares because he's dumb and beautiful, and that's how he conveys emotion. He leans down to Terri and mumbles something about Ryder being "a jerk." Does anyone still call anyone a jerk anymore? Guys, try "jag," it's much more effective. Terri starts apologizing for their fight, because she's never allowed to be angry at him for more than five minutes. Ryder interrupts to say, "Hey, kids! Do let me know where you register. I'm so hoping no one's gotten you a shower caddy for two yet." Verve stands up, walks over to Ryder and punches him. It looks just like Edward Norton punching Brad Pitt in the ear. Terri runs over and shouts, "This is so not worth it!" Verve spins around and says, "This is so not worth it." He storms off. Terri walks off in the direction of the water. Ryder stares for a while and then remembers he's supposed to act like he just got punched in the chin.
Okay, and now for the most gratuitous scene in Young Americans' short history. Bella stands in the middle of the lake in her tiny bikini, splashing around and showing us her dirty pillows. Lots of slow motion shots of her running water over her small hips and tight stomach. She splashes herself in the face a few times. Nick Drake is still going on with his guitar. Bella walks, walks, walks and walks with the camera caressing her wet flesh. She does a Sports Illustrated-worthy lean on the pier as she exhales.