Young Americans
Free Will

Episode Report Card
admin: D | Grade It Now!
Winkin', Blinkin', and Nod

Pamie's recap. Brought to you in part by Diet Coke. And Marlboro Lights. And very special sponsor: masochism.

Previously on Young Americans: Liv Tynot gives Will the "burn!" by telling him he's a pretty good phony. Whiplash Editing takes us to the first episode, where Bella tells Scout that her mother left when she was six. Mamawhore shares a moment with Bella. Scout asks Bella if she ever wonders if they'd be legally allowed to have sex. Verve tells Terri that he loves her. They kiss to the beat of the Steel Drums of Non-Gay Love.

I'm warning you now: "Free Will" means they are exercising their free will to torture us with so much Will that you change your name to Surrender McBlandWriting.

And we missed Will's voice-overs so much, didn't we? Butt-shots and frolicking while the Rawley "boys" play football as we hear: "When is the age...or even the moment we go from being kids to being...something else? I mean, so much can happen in a year. People say that we're growing up too fast today. Sometimes adults make it sound like it's our fault, or at least our choice. But how can we not? We feel invincible and we know so much. One thing I do know is that we're so eager to lose our innocence. And I wonder if one day we'll look back...and wish we hadn't." Is this a journal he's keeping or something? And, I don't know, I've played football a few times, and I'm pretty sure at one point during that game, someone would have felt Terri's Ace bandage. Or at least popped her bra strap. It's okay. There was so much homoerotica in that scene that I don't mind any stretch of logic. Mmm. Cute boys holding each other and laughing. Jumping and flexing. Looks like Christmas came a little bit earlier this year.

Bella works on the Truck of Constant Repair as Sean walks up and offers to help her out. She Girl-Powers him and says she doesn't need any, but he moves her aside and unscrews the cap for her anyway. She giggles, giggles, flirts and thanks him, instead of saying, "I said I didn't need your help, Macho Fuck." Sean reminds her that her birthday is coming up, and asks what she wants: "You can tell Mr. Reynolds he need a new transmission." Every day this girl gets closer to becoming Tiny Tim. He says it's her "Sweet Sixteen," and that she should come up with a real present. She asks for a trip to Paris. Sean bites his tongue and says he doesn't know about that. She laughs. She says he should just surprise her. "Oh, you like surprises?" he asks, as he leans in to kiss her.

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Young Americans




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