Young Americans
Free Will

Episode Report Card
Pamie: D | Grade It Now!
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Winkin', Blinkin', and Nod

More Nick Drake! You demanded it, didn't you? I've heard this "Pink" thing six times this episode alone. Okay, almost complete darkness and slow motion as we watch all sorts of people kiss. You can't really tell who anyone is. Sean leads a blindfolded Bella into the darkened Bankruptcy Diner and rips the blindfold off to start her surprise party. Hail, hail, the gang's all here. Except for Paige. And L.A. Girl. And Grace. And any of Bella's dads. And you'd think Finn would love this shit. As everyone runs over to hug the Sweet Sixteen, we catch a glimpse of the not-happy Scout. Bella can't stop smiling and wiping her eyes in complete surprise. Bella kisses Sean. Now. Over all of this, on top of this slow motion schmaltz, we still have to hear Will's voice-over. You ready? It's pretty bad. Okay. You were warned. "When exactly do we go from being kids...to being just people, I'm not sure. I do think that it's not about turning a certain age or graduating from school. It happens when you're not paying attention. We go from playing with our friends to playing with our friends' feelings." Okay, just one question. Does that Nick Drake song go, "So, I written on a soy-say?" Is it, "Saw you written on a soy cake?" "So, I rid another sorbee?" "Swa bitten alma zawzey?" I think the next line is "Pink Moon is on his way." Bella looks right at Scout. They stare for a while. She smiles, he doesn't. She keeps smiling. He melts, because he just loves the shit out of her. She walks over to him, and he gives her a tennis bracelet. He puts it on her as they share and incestuous moment of lust. Sean watches, not buying this whole sibling crap. Okay, back to Will: "Without our knowledge or consent, childhood slips away in the night, and our innocence escapes us. And we wake up one morning to find...we have become...who we are." That is so deep. Because I can't even remember how many times I woke up as someone else before I found myself waking up as myself. It reminds me of another great writer, who once said, "Zoy written on a saw-zay." Will and Liv kiss because we're supposed to care as we pan out from the Bankruptcy Diner which has no problems renting out to a bunch of kids without one chaperone and we fade to black.

Not even one snippet of the final episode. Aren't you just on pins and needles? I am. I use them to make the pain in my ass go from virtual to actual.

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Young Americans

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