We are never getting to a commercial, I swear to God.
Bella tells Will that she has to get into Ryder's room. Will calls Ryder "the biggest ass bite of Rawley" and says that he's got his computer. "Great. He's probably reading my deepest, darkest secret even as we speak." Is there a team of writers, or just one? If it's a team, is there one person on the staff that's like a relative of a producer or something, and they can't cut out what he or she writes because otherwise they'll get fired? Because I really don't understand some of these lines. They followed "ass bite" with "deepest, darkest secret." Will asks how she got into this mess. She asks how he got into his. "I thought I had a winning hand." "You gotta learn, Will, in this town? We never do." The Townie Blues. Sing it, sister.
Bella raps twice on the open door as she leans her head in and says, "Hello?" They are doing the "sneaking into the dorm" lean that Will used to break into the dean's office a few weeks ago. It works like a charm. Ryder's not there. Tension music mounts as Will picks up his laptop and declares it "fine" and Bella walks over to her jacket. We hear Ryder's cell phone go off outside. We're assuming it's Ryder's, because Bella and Will start freaking out and hide in the closet. Ryder tells the person on the phone that he's "good for it" and that he doesn't "welch on [his] bets." He just got back from the bank and has "three thousand lohvley li-ale dollars." Bella peeks out the closet door so she can...hear him better, I guess. Ryder says the money was from the gambling that weekend. "Joe, don't get all GoodFellas on me," he says. He then goes all The Professional on Joe and starts screaming, "Fine! FINE! YES! I understand!" He says he'll bring the money by noon. He puts the laptop in his bag and says it's off to the pawn shop for it. He puts on the jacket and says, "Townie slut outerwear." The woman from Old Navy calls me and asks if I think they could get Jackeé for the Townie Slut Outerwear commercial series. I tell her to ask Magic. He says he'll pawn the jacket as well. He puts the envelope of money inside the pocket (THE POCKET!) of the jacket. He picks up his bag and walks off. The music makes a zoom noise as the camera pans over to Bella and Will and the sound dubbing gets really crappy as Bella says, "What are you doing, Will? Great plan. We hide inside the closet while that obnoxious jerk insults my sister wearing my jacket and takes our stuff." Will asks if she'd rather have been caught in his room. "Well, no, but let's get out of here so we can find him," she says, like she's the one with all of the ideas. They open the door. Uh-oh! It's Scout! Someone's got some 'splainin' to do! Scout says the explaining should begin, "Like, now." Bella and Will look at each other. Wah-wah-waah-waaaaaaaaaaah.