Mmm. The opening credits. Let's sing the opening song, shall we?

Lake Homoerotica.
Row, boys, row.
Girls in tiny swimsuits
Scout is all aglow.
Will looks around
The Fab Five is in rain.
Will jumps over a boat
Bella's smirk causes pain.

Everybody needs
A little brother love.
Where would we be
Without some sister love?

Kid falls in water.
Scout tightens his jaw.
Will skips a stone.
Terri's face just says "Aw."
Half-naked boys jump
Into the lake.
Will looks the other way
And then he throws a fake.

Where would we be Without some Verve love?
Everybody needs
Some non-gay love.

Verve looks right at me
I start to dampen.
Then Finn sits upright
And I'm instantly crampin'.

Where would we be
Without naked boy love?
Everybody needs
Naked Scout givin' naked Will a shove.
We can't get by
Without some Townie love.
Everybody's shy
When they're in shameful love.
Where would Finn be
Without man-boy love?
Naked back.
Boobie shake.
Pecs on fire.
Lake Homoerotica.
Have mercy.