This was the video version of the opening credits, anyway, since they didn't put any of the actors' names next to their faces. Not one credit in the credits. I don't know. I wrote you a song.

Coke commercial. Their new thing is apparently that rude people drink Coke, and if you don't have one, that gives you the right to be a total asshole to people. I think they've finally started seeing the effects of Diet Coke withdrawal on their test subjects.

Raise the flag, it's mornin' time in New Rawley. Close-up on the American flag. The Range Rover screeches back, and Bella is fuming out the window. As Grace jumps out of the vehicle, all of the boys slur, "Bye, Gracey." She twirls around so her dress flips up and she blows them a kiss. I love that slut. You probably already guessed it, but she's not wearing the jacket. Bella stomps up and says that it's "six in the morning" and asks where she's been and where's her jacket and that she's been looking "all over town" for her. Grace touches her head with both hands in that "Fuck, it's bright and you're way too annoying for this early in the morning" look. She says she was up playing cards. Bella shoves her by the shoulders and says, "Whatever. Where's my jacket?" Grace says she doesn't know and asks what the big deal is. "Grace, I will shred you if you don't get me my jacket. Now, where is it?" I wish Grace would tell Tony Hawk that she shredded it. Grace says she thinks she left it "at Joe's." "What, you were gambling at Joe's?" Quick edit, and she then says, "I'm going to Joe's," suddenly all calm. Grace tells her not to. She says she thinks she left it at a dorm room at Rawley. "The British guy, Ryder? Huh. Gawd." She looks up and laughs at how cute Ryder is. I just want to take that sweet slut home with me, wait until she gets her first period, and then teach her how to open a bottle of beer with the end of a lighter. "Grace? If I don't get my jacket back." Bella stares at Grace. Grace looks at Bella. Bella stares at Grace, and then storms off. The dramatic tension. I'm parched.

"And that, gentlemen, is a stwrraight." Ah, who missed Ryder? He's got a pen in his mouth, but the room is all smoky, so we're supposed to think he's smoking a cigar and playing cards in his dorm room, but really the pen is in his mouth so I don't mock his mushy accent anymore. Everyone throws their cards in and does the all-important moaning. Ryder pulls the money from the center of the table and then says, "Read 'em and weep, boys," even though someone has already pulled the cards from the table. Will walks up to the doorway, where three other boys are standing and watching. The Woody Harrelson-looking guy points at Will for some reason. "My little Krudski," Ryder says with a smile. "Cah-uh join us?" Will says through the dark and smoke that taking Ryder's money "would be too easy." Ryder laughs and says, "Oh, right. Of course. You've got that thing. That 'I'm so poor. Please take pity on me!' thing." Okay, I like Ryder and his giant mole and his bleached Caesar hair. I don't care. I like him. Why isn't he naked? Where is the nakedness, people? Everyone gives Will the "burn!" moan until Ryder says, "I'm joking. Come on." Will squints his eyes. Ryder lifts a bill and says he'll ante for him. "On second thought, I'd love to take your money," he says. Ryder tells one of his cronies to move over, and Will moves through the dark and sits on the opposite side of the table.