Young Americans
Kiss And Tell

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Kiss And Tell

And not a moment too soon. Continuing their tradition of stealing every scene from Dead Poets Society episode by episode, Finn teleports to a dock, where all of the boys are sitting around him as he quotes Thoreau: "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately..." Oh, you know the rest. Finn just butchers the hell out of it, all sitting in the rain and shit like a moron. He asks the boys what they know about Thoreau. Someone offers that he lived all by himself in the woods. Finn says that Thoreau was inspired by the setting just like where they are in Rawley, and now they are doing just what he did. He asks what Thoreau must have wanted from the experience. Because Will is the only student allowed to answer a question correctly, he offers that perhaps Thoreau was trying to be an individualist. This causes a wee cock of the head by Finn, who is so in love with Will that the stubble on his chin quivers. But Will's not done. "To...find himself by stepping away from society and all the institutions." Check out Gregor's response: "Wike, maybe the institootshun ov mawwige." Mawwige. Mawwige is wot bwings us togevah today. Gregor asks if Thoreau was hot for Emerson's wife. Will gives a worried look. Gregor goes on about getting lonely and having "extwa-cuwiculah activities" in the woods. Will says that isn't possible, because Emerson was Thoreau's mentor. Uh-huh. Finn says that it's also hard to "get things going" when you have a woman in your non-heated log cabin "for a wild weekend." So lame, this show. So lame. Finn concludes that Thoreau lived alone. "Let's face it. The life of a philosopher-poet is a pretty solitary kick." Will continues to look like all of Finn's words are really hitting home with him. Gregor smirks. Finn looks into the rain (doesn't drown, though) and assigns Civil Disobedience for homework. Homework? Was this a class? In the rain? In a boat?

Ye Olde Gas Pumpe. Paige pulls up in her Beemer. Bella walks over to her. "I don't know what just happened," Paige says while getting out of her car. Bella says it sounds like Paige's "cable snapped." She holds a spotless red rag. Now, my boyfriend works on his car every once in a while, and I know that the red rag of motor-care is not only coveted by mechanics, but is more loved the dirtier it is. He's got like, three of these things in his tool kit, and they stink so bad that you cannot go near the open box. They smell like feet dipped in oil. Bella hasn't actually touched a car her entire life.

MALE FANTASY ALERT. Bella and Paige are lying underneath the car. Perky Breasts in blue tell Perky Breasts On Their Side that they are okay for now, but "the hook is definitely tweaked so [they'll] have to get it fixed at some point." "You saved my life," Paige says for absolutely no reason as she rolls out from under the car. Paige pulls Bella up to her feet. Oh, how fucking cute. Bella has her first smear of grease. It's a giant stripe across her forehead. She's all smiley and greasy. I hate her. Still holding onto Paige's hand she says, "Oh, I love French manicures." Paige asks how much she owes her. Bella gives a look back to the station and thinks, "Oh, the hell with it. It's 1957 here. We'd only charge a nickel anyway." She tells Paige it's on the house. Paige thanks her. Smile. Smile. Smirk. "Cool." Stink-eye.

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Young Americans

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