Young Americans

Episode Report Card
811 USERS: C+
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Our Town

Will pours a cool, refreshing Cola-Cola for someone. Well, he pulls it. Because he's a soda jerk. I fully expect Marty McFly to come busting in asking for a Pepsi Free or a Tab while Biff yells in the background. Scout is arranging the silverware on the counter so that Miss Manners approves of the positioning of the spoon. The Townies give the obligatory head-back-and-squint. Will walks in with some food and Scout says that he figures the place could "turn a sweet profit" if they put a cappuccino machine on the counter. Will explains that the man at the counter doesn't want a cappuccino, he wants a burger. No one asked me what I wanted, dammit. Bella walks in and sits down, saying something I can't understand even though I listened three times. Will reminds Bella that Scout is building character. She says that it will look good on his "Presidential résumé." So will "Sister Screwing. 2000-present." So much potential. I'm never stopping with the incest jokes, by the way. If they're gonna present it so lightheartedly, I figure I can do the same. Extreme close-ups. Bella orders a "Coke to go." She asks if he's an official Townie now. Scout says he guesses he is. She asks Will if he's going to take Scout to Sean's party this weekend. I guess Sean is Mr. Woo.

Will looks all uncomfortable and then says, "Sure." Look how many "S"s and "L"s I had to type in those last couple of sentences. Do you think someone could be a little more creative in the naming process? Scout tells Bella that he's been watching her at the gas station (no, really?) and asks her if she's ever considered putting in a larger sign to "maximize clientele." She asks him if he ever thought about "turning off the Coke machine to minimize spillage." Goofy antics and "physical" "comedy" as Scout turns off the machine. As Bella leaves, Scout asks for a tip. She turns and says, "Yeah. Try conquering one industry at a time." There's that winning smile from Scout again. Everyone in my apartment is asleep. Bella walks out the door carrying a paper Coke cup.

Young Americans

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