Young Americans
Our Town

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Our Town

I take two Excedrin Migraine.

Steel Drums of Non-Gay Love. Terri thanks Verve for the help. They stand in the moonlight and stare at each other. Terri tells Verve that she's not gay. She promises him that she knows she's not gay. I try and imagine what this recap must look like to someone who didn't see the pilot, or read the recap of same. Terri apologizes for her "sketchy moment" and says that he doesn't have to feel weird around her. He says he does feel weird, but that he's trying to work on it. Cue the steel drums again. They talk about how they can't believe they pulled off the bike steal. "Thank God for the freight elevator," Terri says. "So Hardy Boys," says Verve. "Yeah. Meets Nancy Drew." D'oh! Both Terri and Verve look at each other and think, "That's so gay." Whatever.

Someone throws an African-American man a softball. Woo-hoo! Go WB! Sean has kicked Will out of the game. The African-American is named Ralph, and he's on time all the time, so Ralph's the new Will. Sean says that Ralph's "one hundred percent committed." Oh, man. Will goes, "Wait a minute. Is this about..." And Sean goes, "Will, forget about all that other crap. You left us no choice!" Forget it. It doesn't matter. Will's kicked off the team. Out of the game. He goes to leave as Finn pedals up. Does anyone have a car? Says he came to see the game. Will tells him to let him know how it goes. There. That's a recap. The rest is just pure crap and I like you too much to cause you any sort of pain.

Because it's time for Scout's Pecs! Yes indeed, ladies and gentlemen, it's that time in the episode where Scout must take off his clothes for no reason at all! Huzzah! "He looks like Scott Wolf," Rose points out, so it's pretty much unanimous now. When he's mostly naked, we're having a party of six, if you know what I mean. Awwwww yeah. Will walks in, ruining everything, and mopes over to his side of the room. Scout asks if Will won his game. "Wouldn't know. Sean replaced me." "That is so lame. What's wrong with that guy?" Scout asks, as he puts his shirt back on. Damn. "Nothing's wrong with him! He had to make a choice!" Will is very defensive about his boyfriend. "If he's your friend he would have made a choice to support you." "I've known you for, like, two weeks, and you're trying to tell me who my friends are?" Everyone is tired of Scout's know-it-all-rich-boy attitude that we really haven't seen but are just supposed to assume he has. "You don't even know him, Scout," Will says. "All right, that's cool," Scout says, "Guy's a loser." "Hey! He's been my buddy since we were, like, eight years old." Will storms up to Scout and fronts him. Scout is only four foot three. "Well, maybe you should get some new friends." "And maybe somebody should finish what they started." "Oh, and that's going to be you!" Fight! Fight! Take off your clothes and fight! Damn. They walk off in two different directions. Damn. Pan up from Will's long-underweared crotch to his face. What season is it? Rose sighs. "I wish you recapped Buffy...or at least Angel." I know, sweet Rose.

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Young Americans

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