Young Americans
Our Town

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Our Town

Leading the battle of the bland plotlines, Bella walks up to Scout who is sweeping in front of the Friendly's. "Everything under control, Cowboy?" she asks for no reason. They just sit down, because it's not like there is anyone in this town who really needs food or gas. Scout says that he and Will "went to war over that whole Sean thing." Bella says, "Yeah, well, you aren't the only casualty. Will and Sean haven't talked since the party." Because we all care. "And that's my fault because...?" Scout says. I hate that. Bella says it's not his fault, she's just sayin'. Bella gets all serious and close-up-y to say that he's got to understand "[they] spend [their] entire lives sharing this town with guys like [him]." All seven of them. "You come from a completely different world. And now all of a sudden, Will's thrown into that world. I'm sure he feels like he doesn't fit in either right now. But I know he's trying, Scout." She tells him to cut him some slack: "Try to understand how it must be for Sean to sit on the other side of the fence and watch all of this." Scout says that Sean likes Bella. She laughs. He says he has a bird's-eye view of what's going on. She laughs that he said "bird's-eye view." So do I. I know that whole big-brother/little-sister protection thing, but this is gross. "Maybe I should think about building a spy-proof wall," she smiles. What the hell? Smirk. Eyebrow. Smirk. Blink. Blink. Lip chew.

The other Rawley boys are gathered around the television, cheering at some event. Terri walks over to Verve and asks what's going on. He tries to explain that it's wrestling, but you can tell that neither of them is even slightly interested in the "sport." Terri says, "So, thanks again for last night." The other boys all look over and get grossed out by the gay-wad vibes coming over from them. Terri says she's about to take her bike out and wants to know if Verve wants to come along for a ride. Verve feels that everyone must know he's gay so he gets all cool and doesn't answer her question, and keeps staring at the television. Terri gets upset and gets up to leave. She walks in front of the television, which should have exposed her as a girl right then and there, and stops to look at Verve. She leaves the room upset. Those are some of the worst extras I've ever seen. They just kept putting fists in the air and shouting, "Yeah! Woo!" all quietly.

Scout and Bella are flirting at the Friendly's counter. More boys walk in and take a booth. The Jack Black wannabe sing-songs, "We're starving! Some menus, please!" "Welcome to my life," Bella whispers to him, as if she's had to sleep with all of these guys. He gives them the menus and walks back to the counter. Will walks in and sits down. Because Will is only allowed to be angry at Scout for five minutes, he's instantly made up. "Cappuccino, sir?" smirks Will. "How 'bout I just blow some hot air into some milk?" "Why not? You seem to have enough of it, lately." Scout sets 'em up and Will knocks 'em down, people. Zing! Scout stares. Bella freezes with her straw in her mouth. Scout looks down. Will looks down and says, "You know, I signed you up for Celebrity Deathmatch." Scout says he's "psyched." What? What Celebrity Deathmatch? The Claymation? These kids haven't ever seen a talkie but they get MTV? Huh? Everyone laughs. One starved vein tries to reach out of Bella's forehead to snatch a bite of a cheeseburger, but she slaps it back in place. Everyone declares that they are "cool." Wannabe Jack Black says, "Tommy, I told you we're hungry. Just because the economy's good doesn't mean you get to slack off the work, huh?" I guess this means he goes to Rawley. No wonder they hate the Rawley kids. They get the worst lines. Bella says Jack Black must not recognize him. Scout says he recognizes Jack, though. Says he's Kyle Stratton. Scout goes into some John Houseman impersonation and says, "The economy is good and will remain good for those of us who invested wisely." Jack Black gives a double-take to end all double-takes. "Those of us whose fortunes ride on shaky tech stocks like strattontech dot com, better enjoy it while it lasts." Will chimes in with, "Yeah, because sooner or later those shareholders are going to realize their stocks are worthless and it's inevitable their bottom will fall out." Scout gives Will a look of everlasting love. Scout asks if Kyle would like an application with his order. "Who the hell are you?" Jack Kyle Black asks. "Just some Townie, sir." Instead of bitch-slapping Scout for saying that last comment, Will and Bella giggle into their hands. Jack Kyle Black and his friends stand up and leave (but not before he mutters, "Freaks"), ensuring that Friendly's didn't make a single dime that afternoon. "Let's just hope they'll need some service on their breaks this year," Bella says into her glass. Everyone looks shocked at Bella for hinting that she'd commit murder, and then they all begin laughing, as that's the very least of the crimes that the three of them have already done in the past two weeks. Plagiarism puts his arms around Incest One and Two and shares a warm moment with a cool, refreshing Coke.

Teleportation. Will is at the softball game, watching Sean pitch. One African-American man sits behind Will ("We need someone to play Ralph's dad! Quick! Is the sound guy black? Can we have him sit on this bench?"). And if you're keeping score at home, that's African-Americans: 3, Fat Guys: 1. We watch the catcher put his fingers in front of his crotch (you know they wouldn't miss that opportunity). As Sean goes for the third strike he glances a look at Will. Will nods. Sean nods back. They're in looo-huu-hooove. The guy hits the ball and Sean catches it. Sean throws the ball to Ralph on first to tag out the guy running back to first. Ralph tags the guy out. Game over. Ralph and Sean win the game, but Will knows it should have been him. Incredible cheering like Robert Redford had something to do with this game and Glenn Close is glowing in the stands. All of the boys throw down their mitts and have a group hug in the center of the field. Someone grabs Sean's tittie. Will laughs as Sean is being man-handled. Sean looks at Will and shouts, "Woo!" Will starts to walk off with his bike but stops to look at Sean. Sean stares at Will. Will stares at Sean. Will smiles and walks off. Sean looks back at his teammates and goes back to cheering. Sean looks back at Will again and gives a half-hearted, "Woo." Ha.

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Young Americans




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