Young Americans

Episode Report Card
Pamie: D | 757 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
They were Young Americans

Verve knocks on Terri's door. She bolts upright. They stand really, really close and stammer and say things at the same time for a while and apologize and say that they will both just ignore it, pretend it didn't happen, and just be friends. They shake hands. Verve punches Terri on the shoulder awkwardly and announces, "You da man!" Terri points back and says that yes, indeed she is the man. As Verve walks out, Terri flops herself onto the bed in anguish. That damn steel drum is at it again. Verve walks away from the dorm and says to himself, "Oh, my God. I think I'm a gay." That's what he said. Mr. Feng Shui thinks he's "a gay."

Finn walks into Will's dorm and announces that he has good news and bad news. Oh, Lord. I am stuck inside a sea of clichés. I can't see the forest through the cheese. "Good news is you passed the test." Will assumes the bad news is that he's kicked out anyway. "No. The bad is after reading your essay...I think you're a writer." A writer of CRAP! Triumphant music. Will beams for a long time in a crazy close-up. Finn smirks and runs off to attack that one chin hair that got just a bit longer than "stubbly" and was threatening to go all the way to "beardish." Will looks around his enormous dorm and hopefully thanks whoever it is that made sure laws and school codes don't apply to him. He does this by jumping up and down and screaming, and then bolting out of the room.

Back at the Pier New Hampshire, Scout is just not smirking. Bella walks up to him and can't help smirking, since that is her only method of showing emotion. She cracks that good looks run in their family. Oh, she got him to smirk! He tells her that's not funny, and she exhales and asks, "Who's laughing." They both stare at each other and bite their lips because they're just going to fuck each other anyway. To hell with genetic disorders! Scout says he can't stop thinking about her. She says, "Me too," but we're supposed to know what she really means. "So now what?" Bella offers that they are friends. "Just like that." "Well, I don't know what else to do, Scout. It's so out of our hands. I don't know." Oh, man. The version of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" that you hear on the eToys commercials starts up as Scout laughs and says, "I thought of a good one the other day. Bellbottoms to straight leg and then back to bells again." Bella exhales and says, "Thirty years." "Maybe." "Civilization," Bella says. "Uh, five hundred years." Much exhaling. "Overcoming the loss of a true love?" Bella asks. Scout has no answer. They just stare. A. Lot. Will comes running up announcing that he passed the test. Scout says he knew he would. Will walks into the lake and starts talking about that damn history in the damn lake again and how perfect everything is now and how he's perfect and he's "throwing convention out the window" and "exceeding expectations." He throws himself into the water as Scout and Bella share a long, long look with smirks and obvious thoughts like, "Throwing convention out the window? Hey, that's not a bad idea, sis. Gimme those titties." Overcome with smirk and the large Hawaiian singing about lemon drops and chimney tops, they must throw themselves in the lake as well and scream and hoot. Someone picks up Bella and puts his face in her boobies. I just couldn't tell which one it was because of the glare of the setting sun.

Young Americans

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP