Young Americans

Episode Report Card
Pamie: D | 4 USERS: A-
They were Young Americans

Back at the Pier New Hampshire, Scout is just not smirking. Bella walks up to him and can't help smirking, since that is her only method of showing emotion. She cracks that good looks run in their family. Oh, she got him to smirk! He tells her that's not funny, and she exhales and asks, "Who's laughing." They both stare at each other and bite their lips because they're just going to fuck each other anyway. To hell with genetic disorders! Scout says he can't stop thinking about her. She says, "Me too," but we're supposed to know what she really means. "So now what?" Bella offers that they are friends. "Just like that." "Well, I don't know what else to do, Scout. It's so out of our hands. I don't know." Oh, man. The version of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" that you hear on the eToys commercials starts up as Scout laughs and says, "I thought of a good one the other day. Bellbottoms to straight leg and then back to bells again." Bella exhales and says, "Thirty years." "Maybe." "Civilization," Bella says. "Uh, five hundred years." Much exhaling. "Overcoming the loss of a true love?" Bella asks. Scout has no answer. They just stare. A. Lot. Will comes running up announcing that he passed the test. Scout says he knew he would. Will walks into the lake and starts talking about that damn history in the damn lake again and how perfect everything is now and how he's perfect and he's "throwing convention out the window" and "exceeding expectations." He throws himself into the water as Scout and Bella share a long, long look with smirks and obvious thoughts like, "Throwing convention out the window? Hey, that's not a bad idea, sis. Gimme those titties." Overcome with smirk and the large Hawaiian singing about lemon drops and chimney tops, they must throw themselves in the lake as well and scream and hoot. Someone picks up Bella and puts his face in her boobies. I just couldn't tell which one it was because of the glare of the setting sun.

Fade to Scout, Will and Bella sitting on the pier in the setting sun as we have to hear Diet Dawson give the recap: "And so, our adventure begins. We find our heroes, and we uncover our fears. And sometimes, we triumph."

Dude. It's just the first episode. Calm your ass down.

One last Coke commercial. They got it in, those bastards.

Next week Terri's hair gets shorter, Bella says something about having been in a boys' dorm after hours before, there's a brawl between Will and Scout at a saloon, and Will looks at the ground while he sits on a stoop. You know you can't wait.

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Young Americans




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