Young Americans
Pilot

Episode Report Card
Pamie: D | 4 USERS: A-
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They were Young Americans

Finn is on his back in his boat. "Listen very closely, gentlemen." The boys are all in the boats, listening to the water. Finn asks what they hear. Oh, come on, you know what's going to happen, right? Scout offers something obvious ("Birds."), Verve offers something dark ("Pond scum."), Terri offers "wind," Finn tells them to look deeper and Will spouts off with, "History." Finn, of course, tells him to go on, so we have to hear this big monologue while the car commercial song plays again about how Will grew up on this lake, and how there's so much history there. Town fairs with people getting food poisoning from a blueberry pie-eating contest and puking until the lake turned purple ("Stand By What?"), and how he learned to swim in that water. Scout gets all excited and says that his dad used to crew when he went to Rawley. So many close-ups. Finn says that there were hundreds of men there before them sitting right where they are now and they'd give up their Wall Street seats in a heartbeat so that they could be fifteen and have their whole lives ahead of them again. But he says it like this: "Possibilities of the universe at their fingertips." He tells the boys to make the most of their days. Instead of "carpe diem," though, he chooses, "Exceed the expectations." I puke imaginary poison pie all over my cat. Finn kicks everyone out of the boat for the "swimming portion of the curriculum." Terri calls Finn "a wanker."

Montage of boys playing in the water. I reel from the homoeroticism.

Night. Will and Scout are in their beds. Scout says he can't get Bella out of his head. I can't stop staring at his manly chest.

Finn walks into the dorm hall and sees a light fixture on the fritz. It helps that it's right outside Will and Scout's dorm room. Will and Scout, of course, immediately start discussing how Will cheated on the entrance exam and how he feels guilty about it. Scout basically tells Will to do the right thing and find a way to feel better about the situation. Will's all, "And what? Tell Finn I cheated, get kicked out and go home? News flash: I don't have one." Oh, man. This is some bad writin' here, people. Scout says, "Look. I mean, if you can't learn to live with it, it's really gonna bother you, let's figure out a way for you to fix it." Strummy guitar and soft music bring us to blackout as Finn looks down in total shame for his Prichard boy.

Coke commercial. Surprise, surprise.

Pan down to the school campus. Terri is hacking into some computer gaming system ("Molten 3"). Verve walks into her room. "Feel free to barge right in," Terri says. She's really getting the Terri voice down, but I think that she does all of the lines in a dub after the scene has been shot. Verve asks if she's found a place to stash her bike. "Huh. Well after six schools you get a handle on these things." Verve asks if Terri's parents move a lot. "Nope." "So, why would you switch schools?" "Waiting for someone to notice." Huh? What? Sorry. I was asleep. What's going on? Oh, right. NOTHING. Okay, here Terri says something about busting into her mom's email account and getting her attorney to wire her money wherever she says, but her mouth clearly says, "Dad" and "He." I don't know why they dubbed the alternate gender, unless they were playing around with the he said/she said again. "So, that's how you scammed the single room?" Verve asks. Terri acts all indignant: "Scam the single room? You should see what happens when I hack into your dad's database." Is that a dis? Is that a come-on? I can't tell. I really can't. Verve is clearly confused by the line as well.

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Young Americans

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