Senator Calhoun (Scout's dad, who sorta skipped the stubble rule, but not the square head rule) knocks on Will's door. Will introduces himself. Someone shoved a stick in Senator Calhoun's ass for this scene. Hold on to something steady, people, because this be some crap-ass writing right here. Senator: "Oh, and it all comes rushing back. The kid who used to live in this room when I went to Rawley, he lived to torture me." Will: "Sounds like a real jerk." Jerk! Ha! And way to go judging people right away, Will. Nice expectations about the truth. Senator: "Yeah, he was. But after years of Ben Gay in my jockstrap, I uh..." Wait. He said "Ben," and then he said "Gay" and then he said "jockstrap." I love this dramatic pause here so we can assume that he must mean something deeper than "I learned to put my jockstrap away after I used it." And who was his old dormmate, Chet from Weird Science? Senator: "...I finally got him back." Will: "Nair in his shampoo?" Senator: "No, I whipped his butt in the '94 election." Will: "Ha. That's cool." Yeah, man, like, so cool. Senator Towniehump asks Will where he's from. Will swallows and admits that he's there on scholarship. The Senator makes some statement about it being difficult to get into Rawley on scholarship so Will has to go put on his hairshirt again.
Scout walks in and he hugs his dad. Will looks on with much jealousy. "So?" Senator asks. "Oh, yeah, we're in, we're in!" Scout says. "Best qualifying time in three years," Will nods. Wait, there's only three men in the room. I smell a Finn. "Good work today, guys." There he is, all leaning in the doorway being creepy. Scout introduces Finn as "our fearless leader." I hate these Prichard Bitches. Finn tells Senator Homecoming that his boat "still holds the record." The Senator gives his vote-winning smile and says, "That's right, since 1977." Okay. Math time. 1977. That was twenty-three years ago. Now, I guess if he went back to homecoming fifteen years ago for the 1985 Homecoming Whateverfest, he might have shacked up with Bella's mom then. But if in 1977 he was fifteen, then how old was he when he went to jail for protesting Vietnam? Maybe that's why Scout never told the entire story. He was either lying, or his dad was the oldest kid in Rawley. Either way, it's embarrassing. And shacking up with a Townie on Homecoming isn't really the way they made it sound in the first episode, is it? This is a later note they've added because it doesn't make any sense. Oh, forget it.