Young Americans
Winning Isn't Everything

Episode Report Card
Pamie: D | Grade It Now!
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"Daddy, Daddy, If You Could Only See"

Hi, everyone. It's me, Saint Clare, the Patron Saint of Television. The one on the left. Saint Clare I. SCII is in the other room, still consoling pamie. Look, you guys are just going to have to be a little more understanding for this recap. This show is really starting to get to her, and periodically she searches the apartment for blunt objects to jam into her eyes. It's really not pretty. We're both worried about her, Saint Clare II and I. We think she might do something drastic. I keep reminding her that there are only three more episodes of this thing, but she keeps mumbling "wasted plotlines" and "makes me want to quit my Diet Coke addiction." I think she might be sneaking other television shows in on the side, too. And every week after the initial airing of the episode, she rips out all of her toenails. She says the real pain is a reminder that television pain eventually dulls. I don't know about that. I still get shooting pains in my eyes when I remember the Billy Girls. Anyway, I just wanted to come out and tell you that, before pamie sat down to recap. Don't let her know I talked to you. It's just that...she's fragile right now. So if she starts screaming or speaking in tongues, just pretend you are following right along with her. She called Bella an "incestuous twit" the other week. Sometimes she'll just start giggling and whisper, "Krudski." And someone (I'm not sure who) wrote "Finn Must Die" in lipstick on the bathroom mirror. This place is starting to scare me. You know what? Don't treat pamie with kid gloves. I need you guys to watch out for the safety of us Saint Clares. Pamie blames us for every bad line. We can't fix them all. We bring her week after week of Sex and the City. I don't know why she's got to be so mad at us for Bella's makeup. We don't even handle makeup. I hate pamie. Shit, here she comes. Act cool.

Hey, guys! What's up?

Okay, fine. Don't say anything.

Previously on Young Americans: Liv Tynot tells Will off. Scout asks if Bella ever pretends that they aren't related so that they could get their schwerves on. Bella says she does. Verve busts up on Terri and kisses her. He freaks because they are now gay. She tells him she's a girl.

What do we need the episodes for when there's this two-second recap here that tells us everything without the bad writing, lighting, or characters?

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Young Americans

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