Young Americans
Winning Isn't Everything

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Pamie: D | Grade It Now!
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"Daddy, Daddy, If You Could Only See"

Terri is standing in front of Rawley Girls wearing a different pink dress. MamaTerri parks in front of a big ol' "No Parking" sign so we know that she's a busy jet-setter who doesn't have time for small-town rules. She's on her cell phone talking about a "script" as she hugs Terri with one arm. She tells the person that she has to go because there's "someone more important." She hangs up and the phone instantly rings. She barks to the caller that she's not too old to play Dorothy, because Diana Ross was "like, fifty-two when they made The Wiz." Nice. MamaTerri hangs up the phone and whines, "They're going with Tiffani-Amber Thiessen." Terri winces for all of us. ["Probably because MamaTerri should know that she's just 'Tiffani Thiessen' now." -- Sars] MamaTerri comments that Terri's hair is short. "Yeah...well...it was...getting in the way...of...my life." Fifteen seconds, wasted. MamaTerri says it's "fresh" and hugs Terri again, saying how much she's missed her. I really don't see what Terri's problem with MamaTerri is. I like her. Even though she is the poor-man's Annette Bening (tm ophy). MamaTerri says she missed, "This. Missed us." Terri smiles and agrees. MamaTerri asks to go inside and says she'd love to meet Terri's roommate. Verve walks up and saves the day. He welcomes MamaTerri and introduces himself. He says that he was sent to personally escort "[her] and Jake..." "--queline," Terri finishes. "Jacqueline." Nice move there, Verve. MamaTerri thanks Verve, grabs his arm and asks to be escorted to the ladies room. "I need some lips...and eyes." I do, too, as I've just ripped mine off my face. Pick me up a couple of pairs, wouldja, MamaTerri? She asks Verve to tell her about the student body. She then asks him to call her "Monica." Terri watches them in amazement as they walk off.

Will's on that bike again. He runs up into his house and slowly walks into his room. Will's not really so smart, y'all. He keeps a dartboard over his television set. BadDad comes busting in, all wearing his BadDad workclothes, carrying the BadDad Alcoholic Toolkit. He gives Will a once-over and then turns his back. Will asks where Mamawhore is. "She's out," BadDad groans, while measuring a small space on the wall over the desk. Maybe for another dartboard? Will says he came by to get his stuff. "Good." Will's all, "I'm just gonna get this stuff and get out of here. And then you can pretend I never existed." I do think it's Will that starts these fights, don't you? "Why not? Since your own family isn't good enough for ya." "Not the whole family, Dad," Will says. Oh, man. I would have been smacked across the face for saying something like that to my father. Just as BadDad's going to do just that, Mamawhore comes in and offers to make Will some food. He gets up out of there quickly, and Mamawhore gives BadDad the look of shame. BadDad stares at the wall. The high-pitched flute comes in and rattles the dartboard onto the floor.

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Young Americans

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