You’re Way Too Pretty To Go To Jail

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Siobhan: I hate to tell you, but I'm more lucid than I've ever been. Go find someone else to save, Malcolm. We're done.

Malcolm's Expression: Do not worry, audience. I know there was something hinky about that call.

At Martin/Charles, Claudine tells Andrew she sent the information he requested -- on Malcolm Ward -- to his cell phone. Poor noodle misses his nice, faux wife, so he asks if there's been any word from her. Claudine tells him "Shiv" called last night, to find out where Tyler Barrett was staying, because she wanted to arrange a dinner for the three of them. When smoke starts pouring out Andrew's nostrils and ears, Claudine wonders if she did anything wrong. Andrew says she didn't, but tells Claudine to tell him everything Shiv said. Since I've already told you. Let's cut over to the...

Soho Diamond Hotel. Bridget arrives, wearing a green overcoat that must have been designed by the makers of Glad trash bags, and yet it still flatters her more than that Reem Acra wedding gown. She spots a couple making out in the lobby and flashes back to all her lovey-dovey times with Andrew. When the flashback is over, poor Nice Buffy is so sad and lonely for her Welsh Rarebit.

We cut to Tyler. Lanfair is finally returning his call. Lanfair wants Tyler to head straight to his office. He's reviewed the teaser information Tyler sent and has signed off on immunity.

Lanfair: Don't worry. You're bulletproof.

Audience: He's totally going to die by the end of this episode, right?

Recapper: Yep.

Back in the hotel lobby, Bridget spots Tyler, but before she can get to him, Henry intercepts her. Tool Belt that he is, Henry is still enjoying the fact that Bridget doesn't know he knows she's Bridget, so he lays a big kiss and some B.S. story on her, about this is the hotel he used to come to, to write. She would promise to stay away, but she never could. Now, Henry and Shiv used to sneak off to a hotel. My deadline is short, so I don't have time to comb through the old weecaps and find its name, but I'm nearly certain it was nothing at all like the Soho Diamond. I am hoping that Tool Belt just outsmarted himself here, and that when Bridget gets some time to think, she'll remember the name of the hotel where Henry and Shiv met. Bridget soon takes her leave. The Soho Diamond must have the world's longest lobby, because that wasn't the shortest scene, and yet Tyler is just reaching the sidewalk when Bridget walks away from Henry.

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