Skeptic: "Mourning your dead husband is a character flaw. You shouldn't let your heart interfere with your professionalism, which is what would have happened either way things went. I have just noticed you are covered in tattoos."
Beck: "Let's talk about my 'ink.' It's in lots of different languages. My husband and I learned a lot of different languages, because we were stupid liberals who thought other cultures were worth understanding. Now I know better. Now I know that killing people is much more important than anything else, if you have a personal vendetta."
Skeptic: "Very interesting but could you randomly pivot to the real storyline about a white guy's problems?"
Beck: "As you know, the FBI is constantly turning over whatever it finds in an investigation to random people. So here is that diary."
Skeptic: "Now technically this is inside a doughnut -- if you're familiar with that saying, as most people are -- but can we dish about how he is a Nazi clone?"
Beck: "I thought that was pretty weird too. Hey, while we're skying inside this doughnut, why don't you tell me all of Hank's plans? That way I can join back up with him like the whole first act of this episode never happened."

CHENNAI DOWNLOAD

Hank: "Father Roc, tell me some things I already know about India."
Fr. Roc: "Well, Chennai is where St. Thomas was martyred, and they built a church there, the holiest site in all India if you are a Christian, but not really important if you are literally anyone else on earth."
Hank, verbatim: "...And at this moment, is exactly where I'm headed."
Fr. Roc: "Then why did you call me internationally and ask me this?"

MØDƎЯN SKƎPTiȻ MAGAZINE

Boy Skeptic: "...So, probably AIDS."
Random Employee: "I am all cracked out on caffeine! Tell me more."
Boy Skeptic: "And then the rivers of blood, so we should watch out for those."
Girl Skeptic: "Hey, Girl Scouts! It's funny because being a woman is degrading."
Ninjas: "You got us! Oooooh. Show us that Nazi's diary."
Boy Skeptic: "Good thing I know German, unlike last week when I didn't know German."
Girl Skeptic: "How do you suddenly know German?"
Boy Skeptic: "I learned it to impress a German girl in my quote Freshman Badminton class."