Zero Hour

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+
Herons & Hi-Tops

Beck: "Let's talk about my 'ink.' It's in lots of different languages. My husband and I learned a lot of different languages, because we were stupid liberals who thought other cultures were worth understanding. Now I know better. Now I know that killing people is much more important than anything else, if you have a personal vendetta."
Skeptic: "Very interesting but could you randomly pivot to the real storyline about a white guy's problems?"
Beck: "As you know, the FBI is constantly turning over whatever it finds in an investigation to random people. So here is that diary."
Skeptic: "Now technically this is inside a doughnut -- if you're familiar with that saying, as most people are -- but can we dish about how he is a Nazi clone?"
Beck: "I thought that was pretty weird too. Hey, while we're skying inside this doughnut, why don't you tell me all of Hank's plans? That way I can join back up with him like the whole first act of this episode never happened."


Hank: "Father Roc, tell me some things I already know about India."
Fr. Roc: "Well, Chennai is where St. Thomas was martyred, and they built a church there, the holiest site in all India if you are a Christian, but not really important if you are literally anyone else on earth."
Hank, verbatim: "...And at this moment, is exactly where I'm headed."
Fr. Roc: "Then why did you call me internationally and ask me this?"


Boy Skeptic: "...So, probably AIDS."
Random Employee: "I am all cracked out on caffeine! Tell me more."
Boy Skeptic: "And then the rivers of blood, so we should watch out for those."
Girl Skeptic: "Hey, Girl Scouts! It's funny because being a woman is degrading."
Ninjas: "You got us! Oooooh. Show us that Nazi's diary."
Boy Skeptic: "Good thing I know German, unlike last week when I didn't know German."
Girl Skeptic: "How do you suddenly know German?"
Boy Skeptic: "I learned it to impress a German girl in my quote Freshman Badminton class."

Nope. But anyway, the Nazi Commandant's name is Korbin Sturm, which Boy Skeptic finds homoerotic for some reason and they notice that his diary is missing a page that would have been dated the same date and time as the constellation in the watch that led Hank to the Basilica he just used to razz the priest... the one he just arrived at!

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Zero Hour




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