Zero Hour

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+
Herons & Hi-Tops


Indian Priest: "Hey, can I help you with anything?"
Hank: "Yeah, have you seen my wife? Probably White Vincent would have brought her to India by now. Or else dissolved her flesh."
Indian Priest: "Hot white lady like that? I'd remember. Show me her abductor? Oh yes, he was here. In fact he just went into the slums a second ago. We're skying for you, bro. Just watch out for the poor people in those slums, they are the worst. I'm the kind of priest who hates poor people more than anything. And also acts real sketchy when you're not looking."


Girl Skeptic: "I just got off the phone with the Nazi War Criminals Library."
Boy Skeptic: "The what?"
Girl Skeptic: "It's a thing! And they said that Korbin Sturm was married, had no children, and was a scientist at the University of Bonn. They did not say he was secretly a Rosicrucian, but he was part of the Nazi project called Zero Hour."
Boy Skeptic: "Which is what?"
Girl Skeptic: "Nobody knows. Not even the Nazi War Criminals Library. But they did hear of a reel of home video called that, which is in the private collection of a total creep."


Creep: "Like most of your magazine's bafflingly large readership, I am a crazy person. I feel like I'm meeting famous people right now!"
Skeptikids: "So you're the good kind of Nazi memorabilia collector. Got it. Do you have anything with ZERO HOUR written on it?"
Creep: "Sure, right over here. Would you like some Brazil nuts?"

He says this also, for no reason: "I just can't force myself to digitalize this stuff, you know? Like you kids say, music is purer on vinyl, so too an image is more resonant when seen projected through celluloid."

There's not a huge paper trail on Zero Hour, because of how the Nazis destroyed all the records once the shit was coming down, but the facts are that Nazi High Command sent an expedition to India which was called Zero Hour and which conspiracy theorists claim was a search for "the secret of life... and death." On the image resonating through the celluloid, as the kids say, we see Nazi Hank torturing dudes with mental probes and various cuckoo technology, which gives the Skeptics pause!

Creep: "Here you see him doing science to a little girl named Sri Trailanga, who was rumored to communicate with the dead. That trail went cold, though."

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Zero Hour




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