Hank has a nightmare on the plane back to the magazine that involves a mysterious "he" and a bunch of cruddy locusts, while in real time Jacinda repairs a clock that leads White Vincent to a new location. After she leaves several clues -- each explained with barfy romantic scenarios that don't pass the sniff test -- Hank and Beck catch up to them in Princeton, NJ.
Okay like, this is a clue: Jacinda points to her tongue on a CCTV camera, which reminds Hank about how he used to leave gum under tables, so they look under some tables, which leads them to a nonstandard phone number that Hank's dad (because his parents show up to act sketchy and for no other reason) happens to know leads to a dead phone in Einstein's old office. So of course, they figure Einstein is probably an Apostle. But if so, where is his clock? If you were thinking the most obvious answer is, "HIS MIND," then you are probably a character on this show. Their first hypothesis is that he put the clock in his mind.
After some very unnecessary codebreaking and chalkboard-sciencing, the clock is discovered under a big monument in the center of town where Einstein used to have picnics. Inside the clock is the piece of paper he wrote his dying thoughts on, previously lost to the ages. So what happened was, Einstein realized he was going to die, so he buried this clock and then on his deathbed he wrote this note about the clock, and then -- whilst in the midst of dying -- he dug it back up, slapped that bitch on in there, and had at it.
The note is like, "Sorry I made up the atom bomb, but if you're finding this clock, I guess we also figured out a way to nuke God. So, my bad. Times two."
Meanwhile, Goose is led by another cute romance trap into a private meeting with White Vincent, who mostly acts bonkers. It seems he expected Goose to also have fake irises covering up his Nazi eyeballs and keeps calling him "brother" as not a metaphor, but in fact, he is neither Vincent's brother nor a Nazi Apocalypse baby clock, but merely the secret clone of a Nazi saint.
Among people revealed to be part of the vast conspiracy with these clocks are: Goose's parents, who may be Nazis; FBI Lady's husband, who was the target of that plane blowing up and not just collateral damage; Jacinda, who met Goose at the unveiling of a famous locust clock years ago, because why would you think it wouldn't be clock-related like every other goddamn thing that has ever happened; and most likely, a new whiz-kid FBI chick who is every bit as personality-free as the other two.
Ken Leung shows up at a priest poker game to tell Charles S. Dutton that the Rosicrucians that are trying to kill Hank are called the Shepherds and that the Nazi guys White Vincent is apparently reporting to are known as the Great Pirates. They are run by Amy Irving, who has locusts as pets and also a creepy little boy who writes in backwards cuneiform whenever White Vincent reports to her about how many clocks.
Next week: As the apocalyptic signs accumulate, Hank must ask himself who is this Jacinda really and why is she so all about clocks? And why is he having psychic locust dreams? Are his parents as boring as they and everyone else on this show, seems to be? Why is everything about him? What is up with FBI Lady's insufferable husband, is he alive? Is he a Nazi? If you can have a Hindu lady-Apostle, you could probably have a black Nazi no problem. Or wait… is he a clock? Next week: FBI Lady's husband is revealed to be a locust with tattoos in various languages that lives in a clock. As in the tales of mythology.
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Haha, even the previouslies where they desperately scramble to explain what the hell is going on. Even when the specific thing that we're doing is to make sense of this shit, it's still just words, clocks, people, old lady, clock, screaming, clocks. Really all you need is just that one guy saying, "He was a holy man, he was a noble man, he was a Nazi officer." In twenty years if you ask me the best thing that happened in 2013 to me personally it will be, "I heard a dude say this on a TV show. Are you ready?"
WHITE VINCENT DROPS A DEUCE ON YA
"Two is the number of love, life's everlasting breath. Sometimes its blind pursuit leads not to life, but death."
How can you tell this is a dream sequence? It's not as simple as the fact that nothing makes sense, the weird Nazi poem, we're dropped in medias res into some randos running around some kind of compound for no reason, and Goose literally only says the name "Jacinda" and the descriptive phrase, "My wife," over and over and over. So how can you possible tell? Is it when the locusts -- alert: new Thing, on this show full of Things -- start divebombing the window, just as they've saved Jacinda from the nobody that kidnapped her? No, still no. The only way you can figure out it's a dream sequence is that Hank wakes up immediately after the locusts show up, gasping and saying, "It was just a dream!"
Hank: "It was just a dream!"
FBI: "But Hank, it was just a dream."
Hank: "But it felt so real!"
FBI: "I don't care, my husband died on an airplane and now we're on an airplane, so I have to get weird real fast."
Hank: "That's very sad but may I remind you my wife was just in India, where we just left?"
FBI: "You're right. Thanks for reminding me. Now let's review the facts, such as they are."
Literally this is the dialogue at this point:
"Vincent's after these clocks. And these clocks, they seem to have a map in them. Which leads to what? I don't know and I don't care. I just wanna find out where he's keeping her."
FBI: "Maybe instead of where -- since we know where, it's India, we just flew away from it and are landing back in NYC for the third episode running -- you should ask why."
Hank: "Why what. Why did he kidnap her? Because of clocks."
FBI: "No, why did he keep her alive? He always kills his hostages. You know, because that's how hostages work."