Fr. Leung: "Yeah but it's not a secret-secret. More like a secret handshake kind of a secret. What do you want to know?"
Fr. Roc: "Tell me everything. But also not really in a helpful way."
Fr. Leung: "You know how priests are a kind of person and Rosicrucians are a kind of priest? Well, the ones that shoot at you are a kind of Rosicrucian called Shepherds. They are into protecting saints and also relics but most especially, clocks."
Fr. Roc: "From whom? Just general, like, ne'er-do-wells or... like street toughs? Graverobbers?"
Fr. Leung: "No, pirates."
Fr. Roc: "This show just doesn't have enough crap going on."
PIRATE AMY IRVING? HOW DARE YOU
Amy Irving: "Thanks for taking down notes from that guy in backwards cuneiform. Now go do your homework, while I feed my locusts over here in this terrarium."
& NOW SOME WORDS FROM ALBERT EINSTEIN, APOSTLE & CLOCK-BURIER
Dear Earth. Sorry about the atomic bomb. Sorry even more about how I helped the Rosicrucians build a bomb so nuclear that it can blow up God. If you find a bunch of clocks first. Love, St. Albert. PS. Do not let my niece Meg Ryan marry a simple mechanic, even if he is played by Tim Robbins. Thank you and auf Wiedersehen.
Nope! No sir. Zero Hour is upon us. I will miss -- in fact, already miss -- this particular show, which I can easily say is the worst thing I have seen on TV in literally years. It's not often that I get to watch things I don't purely enjoy and, in fact, never do so on my own because life is too short for spite. But I got paid for this and I very much enjoyed the exercise. It made my other shows look genius by comparison, which probably helps in the long run. And so I will miss it. But not a lot and it won't last for long.
...Oh! And there it goes.
JACOB CLIFTON is a freelance writer and critic based in Austin, Texas. He currently recaps The Good Wife, Deception, Zero Hour, and Pretty Little Liars for TWoP. Jacob can be found online at jacobclifton.com, on Twitter, and on Facebook. IRL work appears in BenBella's SmartPop series of anthologies, and a novelette, "The Commonplace Book," appeared this fall on Tor.com.