Zero Hour

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
The Light The Heat

That way nobody can say you didn't do your best -- you just Wikipedia-ed Einstein's chalkboard or whatever, said some shit dialogue that no person has ever said in life, remembered that women aren't people and forgot everything you ever knew about religion or storytelling, and put that shit in a boat on the river for the next chump to sprinkle his own special crap on. Which is fine, except plausible deniability and pride in your work aren't compatible -- in fact they're mutually exclusive -- so you've managed to replace excellence as an objective marker with, "Well, I did my best." Which is a pathetic way to do anything worth doing, but especially art.

Meryl Streep's Other Daughter, Mamie Gummer's Sister: "Are you White Vincent? Should I shoot you in the face?"
FBI: "No, this is the person who owns this place. Are you new? Have you not seen, like, a dossier or something?"
MSODMGS: "I want to bug this whole place and be security for you, and also I am a codebreaker and a flirter-with-boys but I have a steely way about me and very good handwriting."
Hank: "Is this necessary? We keep having to come up thin shitty reasons to have you on each episode, now we gotta deal with this girl too?"
Boy Skeptikid: "It's okay. Our flaccid romance could really use a worthless triangulation now that we're back from Bavaria."
MSODMGS: "I don't know about that. I am kind of autistic."
Boy Skeptikids: "Ha! Like women have souls in the first place."

Science: "PS we just invented facial recognition. You want that for this White Vincent thing?"
FBI: "Yeah, that would actually help a lot. Thanks!"
MSODMGS: "Now adding science to our global network of over 400 billion cameras!"
Hank: "I'm skeptical."
FBI: "Pull it together. There's no 'I' in 'FBI'."


Jacinda: "Oh but who wants to talk about me, the abductee? Let's discuss my husband."
White Vincent: "Recently I met a spitting image of Hank Galliston. Weird, right?"
Jacinda, verbatim: "You mean like a doppelganger?"
White Vincent: "Yeah you idiot. Like one of those. You must have read your husband's magazine to know what that word means."
Jacinda: "He came out on the side of skepticism, in re: doppelgangers. Skeptically enough."

White Vincent: "He is very skeptical about shit, I have noticed. Maybe not for long, though, considering he is actually the opposite of skeptical in every instance we have seen on this terrible television show."

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Zero Hour




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