Girl: "So there's only one explanation. Einstein hid the clock the one place nobody would look..."
Boy, ver-fuckin'-batim: "HIS MIND."
MORE CHALKBOARD NONSENSE
Skeptikids: "What's that magic bullshit machine do?"
FBI Ladies: "It reads chalkboards and what they used to say."
Skeptikids: "You know what, that's very interesting. But also, Jacinda should know by now that she just has a regular heirloom clock and not a magic one."
Hank: "Exactly. This is how she proves that she has worth. By literally doing nothing, she is doing something."
Everybody: "Oh yeah? And what's that?"
Hank: "Waiting for me to yell, obviously, and run around ignoring everybody else because I am so important. Just like every week."
THIS IS MY SKEPTICAL FACE
White Vincent: "I've noticed you're doing a lot more nothing than in previous episodes, where you did literally nothing but roll around trying not to get dissolved by chemicals."
Jacinda: "I don't know if you know this, but clocks are kind of complicated."
White Vincent: "Just like your husband, huh?"
Jacinda: "Yes, let's talk about him. Even in our scenes about the scintillating clock repair storyline, the people demand more talk of Hank."
White Vincent: "Like a clock, you took a broken loser and put it back together. And just like every clock you've interacted with on this show, you did a so-so job at best."
Jacinda opens her trap and spews out an unbelievably sickening monologue about how Nice Guys and romance and he went to Jared and it's so awful and unearned and gross. I would rather read Fifty Shades Of Grey than listen to some awful cardboard bullshit couple talk about their gaywad love activities. Listen:
Vincent: "You took a 40-year-old man who'd never been married, a man who doesn't believe in something unless he can see it, and you made him believe in the one and only thing no one can ever see. Love."
Jacinda: "What makes you think love can't be seen? I've seen it. In Post-Its filled with poems, stuck on my bathroom mirror. And in a yellow tack given to me every single year on my birthday, knowing that wherever I stick it on the map, that's exactly where we're gonna wake up the next morning. And you know what? I see it in Hank's eyes every single time he looks at me."
Vincent freaks out because he is like, obsessed with Anthony Edwards's eyes -- because he thinks they are zombie Apocalypse Nazi Baby eyes -- but he is too bonkers to explain this properly to Jacinda, so she just thinks he's grossed out by her gross words.