Beck: "Hey, why are you suddenly leaving the country in the middle of your terrorist wife's abduction by a terrorist? It looks fishy."
Goose: "What are you, the Federal Bureau of Investigations?"
Beck: "Well. Yes. But seriously why?"
Goose: "Because I like to do things my own way!"
Beck: "Guess what, so do I!"
They discuss this coincidence forever and ever.
Beck: "Real talk, though. I used to be a social worker but then my husband blew up."
Goose: "Why is that always how people join the FBI on TV? They're just like lunch ladies or social workers or random cops and then boom, I'm in the FBI. It seems like for such an important, cool deal that you would have like a career plan first."
Beck: "He was on a flight you may have heard of. It blew up. Guess who did it."
Goose: "I couldn't possibly. Wait, was it White Vincent?"
Beck: "Yeah. But my husband wasn't a Rosicrucian or a terrorist or a clock. So it's confusing."
Goose: "Maybe we can solve this mystery together."
Beck: "I already have a ticket. And look, a gun I can legally carry concealed."
Goose: "We do things our own way! Like find clocks!"
MØDƎЯN SKƎPTiȻ MAGAZINE
Boy Skeptic: "Man it sure has been a hectic five seconds since we last saw our boss."
Girl Skeptic: "I know, like I'm so ADD. I already wrote a tweet and looked at my Facebook. What else is there in this world."
Boy Skeptic: "Fancy a trip to Bavaria?"
Girl Skeptic: "As long as we don't have sex there. Just kidding, we are totally going to do it at some point."
Boy Skeptic: "This cardboard, by-the-book sexual tension between people who are even less interesting than Goose is really ... scintillating."
Girl Skeptic: "Hey, whatever keeps us from doing our hilariously unlikely jobs that wouldn't ever exist in the first place. Fuck off, magazine! Fuck off, America!"
Boy Skeptic: "I'm glad this magazine for crazy people makes so much money that we have the support staff and discretionary cash to jet off to Europe like this."
Girl Skeptic: "Have you even seen anybody else working here?"
Where they are going is Bavaria, and why they are going is to meet a man named Norbert Peter Steinke IV, the Uhrmacher. German for "that storm of clock-related Jesus words which whirls and revolves but never resolves." He is just old enough to have been the guy who wrote his name on the non-treasure treasure map on the magical diamond in the magic clock from the ultimately tragic flea market.