Zero Hour

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Do The Reich Thing

Chance would be a fine thing, White Vincent. But I really don't think this is a two-hour show. I don't really think it's a full-season show, due to being awful, but I really don't think the "clock" will stop going round any goddamn time soon.

White Vincent: "Draw me like one of your French girls in one of your American movies." Nobody: "There's nobody here, you are just a sociopath Nazi baby all grown up, wearing fake color contacts like a common street whore. Now put your contacts back in because you look like hell, and put some clothes on because same thing."


Goose: "Hey, can you fly us to a place that is not a place and is on this map but doesn't exist and also nobody knows what it is or how to get there?"
Pilot: [So wacky, but so friendly. This is 'the part where the pilot is wacky, but friendly.']
Goose: "Great so yeah. Just take us wherever that... Hey do you remember a totally insane half-naked Apocalypse Nazi baby terrorist dragging a lady by the hair? Does that ring a bell?"
Beck: "Please answer honestly. I have a gun."
Pilot: "Uh yeah, obviously I would remember that. Get on the plane and stop being weird."
Goose: "Not a chance, bitch."


Skeptics: "Are you Norbert Peter Steinke IV?"
Norbert Peter Steinke IV: "Which Norbert Peter Steinke IV?"
Skeptics: "The one that made clocks in the Thirties?"
Norbert Peter Steinke IV: "Oh yeah, sorry. Yeah, that's me. You wouldn't believe how many different Norbert Peter Steinke IVs I get mail for. One of them has a deplorable credit rating, it has caused me no end of financial complications."
Skeptics: "Can we come barreling in there and almost certainly get you murdered?"
Norbert Peter Steinke IV: "I'm gonna be honest, that doesn't sound like a fun time to me. You may have noticed that I am about a billion years old."
Skeptics: "But we found a magic clock! Like one of the ones you made secretly in the Thirties with a magical diamond in it with a map leading somewhere stupid that multiple people have already died regarding."
Norbert Peter Steinke IV: "The shit you say! Well come right in, that sounds harmless."


Pilot: "You mean right here in the middle of nowhere?"
Goose: "Of course I do! I brought a windbreaker, we'll be fine."

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Zero Hour




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