NYPD: "Bitches with magical clocks get abducted by Nazis every day, sir. What makes you so damned special?"
Goose: "Literally nothing. Good day, sir."
Skeptics: "We can find her!"
Goose: "I'm skeptical about that."
Skeptics: "Did she take a train back to her clock shoppe?"
Goose, verbatim: "She hates taxis. She's always saying it's cheating."
Everybody: "Maybe it's best we don't find her, then."
Goose: "You're right. Let's go hang out at my house and see if we can find her from there, a place she is not and from which she was not abducted."
THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF MAGICAL CLOCK INVESTIGATION
Beck: "I am the FBI lady. I like to do things my own way."
Goose: "I am skeptical and also like to do things my own way."
Beck: "We are going to have such skeptical chemistry and a secret connection."
They show him a video of Jacinda getting dragged around by the hair, it's awesome.
Goose: "Wait, are those present-day Apocalypse Nazis? Are you guys really the FBI? I'm getting skeptical."
Beck: "As amazing as it sounds, yes. We think maybe your wife was abducted by a clock-obsessed anti-Rosicrucian Apocalypse Nazi terrorist named White Vincent."
Goose: "Skeptical. About all of those things."
Beck: "This is the part where I say the horrible trope about 'This is the part where I say I get it.' This is the part where I say 'I get it.' I get it. That was the part where I said 'I get it.' That was the part where I said the horrible trope about saying 'I get it.'"
White Vincent: "I will be comparing everything to movies in much the same vein, later. If I keep saying 'This is not like your American movies, this is not a cliché,' the hope is that you won't notice that everything that happens is like a cliché, but made somehow even stupider through 'creativity.'"
Millennial Skeptics: "Generation X is so fucking stupid. Who even worries about this?"
Beck: "Anyway that guy dragging her around by the hair is White Vincent. He was in the French Foreign Legion, and eventually became quote 'the highest-end mercenary in the world.'"
Goose: "That is so stupid."
Beck: "Yeah? Well, I think your wife is maybe a terrorist. Deal with that."
Goose: "Because she got kidnapped by a terrorist? Sure, that checks out."