The credits themselves pinned down the problem with this show: a little less conversation, a little more action. The mindless antics of Las Vegas’s prettiest hotel staff weren’t sufficient to keep anyone’s interest.
Who will be named “the funniest person in the world”? Maybe you’ll watch the whole fifth season and find out; we won’t.
Just as we were really getting hooked on this increasingly compelling submarine drama, ABC torpedoed it.
Failure to launch.
What the WGA strike giveth, the end of the WGA strike taketh away. Dick Wolf’s immortal franchise will go on, but not on TWoP. (Unless, of course, there’s another strike and we’re desperate for shows to cover.)
In the end, the culprit was boredom.
Perhaps it was the pre-season comparisons to My So-Called Life and Freaks and Geeks that set our sights a little too high. Or maybe it was just the time slot of death. Whatever the cause, no one wants to know about the lives of three teenage boys in Seattle, especially when so much of their lives seemed to be rehashes of other teen dramas that have come before.
“So I turned myself to face me / But I’ve never caught a glimpse / Of how the others must see the faker / I’m much too fast to take that test.”
We expected more.
You ever notice how heavyweight boxers only have big bouts once or twice a year? You ever notice how many great movies there have been about boxers, but never an ongoing television series? Do you think the two facts could be related?
An ABC cop drama featuring David Paymer getting naked? We’ll never understand why that one didn’t work out! But they did their best, with the bare asses and all the swearing and the ethnic slurs and Leslie Bibb in a sports bra. Too bad their best wasn’t good enough.
Unlike that other spring 2008 SATC retread Cashmere Mafia, a network was actually willing to give Lipstick Jungle a second season. We weren’t.
If you call that living…
Chris Carter must have smoked too much crack. He turned some great characters — three ultimate journalistic outsider hackers — into pratfalling ninnies who mention themselves in their own columns. They were quirky on The X-Files, yet bumbling and inept in their own spinoff show. It was a midseason replacement that never got a lead-in from Cops, sucked in the ratings, and got canceled for a reason. The Lone Gunmen never got a chance. Alex Richmond gave it her best shot, but it wasn’t enough. Gurgle, sputter, croak.
Looking for Love: Bachelorettes in Alaska might not have been the worst “reality” show ever produced — a title for which there’s healthy competition. It wasn’t the first show to cause people to despair for all humanity, and it unfortunately won’t be the last. But for six inglorious episodes in the summer of 2002, it was easily the worst thing on television. None of the husband-seeking women went home with a ring, and no one who watched the show did so without a few (or several) pangs of guilt. And the show defiled Alaska’s breathtaking beauty as badly as any oil spill ever could.
Five seasons of groundbreaking storytelling that changed television and how we watch it — and one final season (and series finale) that made us question whether it had all been worth it.
Lost was a fourth-rate reality game show that was supposed to air for six weeks, but only lasted for three. Amazingly, those three hours of television were some of the worst hours in Alex Richmond’s life. And that doesn’t even count monitoring the boards!
The concept was oh-so-right, but the timing was oh-so-wrong. FOX filmed this “Survivor on a ship” reality show and then held it for ages and ages. And it finally started airing at a time when viewers were denouncing both reality shows in general, and tawdry pasttimes in particular. This show had plenty of tawdry reality, from Toni’s bug eyes to Anthony’s smarm, but in the end the multiple episodes per week and general viewer malaise contributed to the show’s being put on Permanent Hiatus after only one season. Oh — and the fact that the producers totally changed the rules around during the finale didn’t help.
In theory, a combination of Survivor and Paradise Hotel could’ve been a fun addition to the summer reality TV line-up. In theory.
A low point for the network that gave us Mad Men and Breaking Bad.