Show Status Notes

Book of Daniel

Permanent Hiatus

Despite all of the controversy stirred up by ultra-religious types, not enough people were interested in the tale of an Episcopalian priest with a messed-up family situation and an “imaginary” friend named Jesus. As in the Son of God. It just goes to show, once again, that publicity will only take you so far, and isn’t enough to overcome a Friday-night time slot.

Boomtown

Permanent Hiatus

What if Donnie Wahlberg took off his shirt and nobody cared? What happens is he stops taking his shirt off, and the scripts go to hell and the premise of the show gets scrapped and somehow somebody still gave Boomtown a Peabody Award. They reran episodes on Bravo, but still nobody cared. Revisit one strange year of daddy issues, little rich girl problems, a crazy wife who may or may not have killed her child, convenient murders, easy-to-catch crooks, and a whole lot of pointing and punching. We never found out why they nicknamed L.A. “Boomtown,” but that’s probably because we never cared enough. That’s the Hollywood spirit!

Boot Camp

Permanent Hiatus

The reality-show boom may have produced some interesting shows, but not all of them could survive (pun intended). We had one glorious season (or maybe that should read “one sort-of- interesting-if- there-was- nothing-else- on-to-watch season”), and got a true reality hero in the balloon-sculpting Yaney, but it turns out that Americans didn’t want to read recaps of a show that was only marginally interesting in the first place. Cue “Taps” and give this one a military burial.

Boston Public

Permanent Hiatus

Don’t worry, kids. We just know David E. Kelley is going to write a show for next fall about how mean old TWoP sent his high-school drama to Permanent Hiatus. Until then, relive the shootings, the stabbings, the pregnancies, the oral-sex scandals, and the Anthony Heald right here. Or, you could just SMELL THAT SHOE!

Breaking Bad

Permanent Hiatus

Walter White Über Alles.

Breaking Pointe

Permanent Hiatus

If it had included a single Dance Mom, would it have lasted more two barely seen seasons?

Bridezillas

Permanent Hiatus

We stuck with this show for one full season…which is quite a bit longer than most of these bitches’ marriages will last. Come on, you were thinking it!

Britney and Kevin: Chaotic

Permanent Hiatus

The days of Cheetos and Red Bull… Parting is indeed such sweet VOMIT! as we wave good-riddance to the slo-mo Amtrak derailment that was the ego-trip called Britney & Kevin: Chaotic. Indeed, if years from now you can’t remember what this show was, and reading the recaps you doubt it could possibly have been as bad as it was made out to be, just absorb this tidbit: the show was supposed to be six episodes, UPN crammed the last two together so it could air the reruns of the spectacularly low-rated Veronica Mars sooner.

Brothers and Sisters

Permanent Hiatus

Thank you to ABC for finally cancelling this show after five long seasons.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Permanent Hiatus

Completely improbably, this little WB offering about a blonde teenaged girl fighting vampires and saving the world turned out to be one of the best and most original shows on television. Just as improbably, the show’s precipitous drop in quality in the last three seasons made us want to jam stakes in our eyes as well as our hearts. It was the best of shows, it was the worst of shows, but after seven seasons, Sarah Michelle Gellar had had enough, and so had we.

Bunheads

Permanent Hiatus

After an excruciatingly slow first batch of episodes, Amy Sherman Palladino’s typically hyper-verbose characters became unexpectedly endearing — but for ABC Family (and most viewers), it was too late.

Burn Notice

Permanent Hiatus

Readers were all burned out.

Californication

Permanent Hiatus

We like David Duchovny, but not enough to keep covering a show in which he plays a drunken, hipper-than-thou lech who’s supposedly a brilliant writer, but spends more time sleeping with every woman in L.A., including a sixteen-year-old. And that was just in the first episode. He fought, he drank, he showed his butt, he made clever sexual puns, but it only took six episodes to figure out that this thing wasn’t going anywhere. Farewell, Pussyman, farewell.

Caprica

Permanent Hiatus

A dark, ambitious and sometimes subversive mixture of cyberpunk, steampunk and Zoepunk that unfortunately failed to connect with either the majority of BSG fans or the general public. Their loss, and ours.

Capture

Permanent Hiatus

By far the best Hunger Games-inspired reality show that aired on The CW during the summer of 2013.

Carnivale

Permanent Hiatus

SEE freaks, geeks, and a story so oblique that it makes David Lynch’s work seem straightforward! THRILL to the acting of Michael J. Anderson and Clancy Brown! You’ll be ASTONISHED at how dull a show about carnies battling apocalyptic forces can be! Gaze in AWE at the lush production! MARVEL at the interminable pacing and deliberately obscure storytelling! WONDER at all the time characters spend staring at each other! BRACE YOURSELF for a cliffhanger ending that won’t ever be paid off, because HBO cancelled the show.

Carrie Diaries

Active

Cashmere Mafia

Permanent Hiatus

One SATC is plenty, thank you.

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