BLOGS

The Three Stooges

by Angel Cohn May 9, 2008 4:00 PM
The Three Stooges

A couple weeks ago I was watching TV with my mom and I had a great idea for a reality show but I got lazy and never wrote anything up. It involved three of the dopiest guys currently on reality television, Jason Castro from American Idol, Mark Simmons from Top Chef and Erik Reichenback from Survivor: Micronesia. At that point, I just loved how they all had the same laid back and chill vibe about them, they were all fairly attractive in that cute little puppy kind of way and they just made me laugh. Now with in the span of a week, they've all been axed from their respective shows in such ridiculous ways that I kind of want them together because that much dumbness in one place has to make for some fascinating TV. Come on, like The Hills is so deep. I just want to see these three guys living in a house together and see what the hell happens, if anything, or if they just can't exist out in the real world. Now is the perfect time for them to get together and make my reality dreams come true.

Tradesies for Payne, Chase

by Lauren Gitlin May 9, 2008 3:14 PM
It's bait and switch time y'all. Variety is reporting that movie director Alexander Payne (of Sideways and Election fame) is developing a dramatic comedy series for HBO titled Hung about the trials and travails of a well-hung (badum bum) Everyman. Can I just say it's about mother effing time? I wonder if they'll employ any type-casting methods, or if prosthesis will suffice. Speaking recently with Daily Variety, series scribe Collete Burson said this of the main character: "Think of him like Spider-Man. He's an average guy who gets in touch with his innate superpowers." Is that what the kids are calling it these days? And does the Spidey analogy mean we'll be treated to close-ups of tight spandex bodysuits? Cuz if so, count me in!

In another TV/movie switcheroo, Sopranos genius David Chase has inked a deal with Paramount to begin work on his first feature-length movie. No word yet on the film's subject matter, but Chase's camp is quick to say that the plot will not explore the same ground as The Sopranos did, i.e. no wise guy narrative. And not to worry, this movie will have no bearing on any future plans to take the Sopranos to the big screen. Phew.

Just What I Always Wanted

by Angel Cohn May 8, 2008 4:45 PM
Just What I Always Wanted There are now more chances to watch Ghost Whisperer as Sci Fi makes plans to air the reruns. Yay? While I have been known to enjoy the show, and maybe even get a little misty at some of the family "reunions" (God, I'm so lame), nothing says Sci Fi Channel to me like reruns of the not-so-scary ghost show. Sure it has a supernatural element to it, but so did Out of this World and I would be horrified if Sci Fi started running that. Actually, I'd probably watch it, but I'd hate the idea of it in principle and I'd feel bad about myself. Actually, that's probably what will happen with Ghost Whisperer too. I guess I can't really blame Sci Fi for hopping on to the JLH boobalicious bandwagon. But if they were smart, they'd just run a loop of the episode that aired last week with Nikki Cox because it was totally freaky. Nikki's lips are enormous and oddly horrifying (the picture doesn't even come close to showing off their true ginormity). What was she thinking? She used to be cute on Las Vegas just last year. I guess when you kill your abusive father and go running off into hiding, the perfect disguise is lip plumping collagen or some sort of implants. Wait a second... did I just reveal that I watch both Ghost Whisperer AND Las Vegas in the same post. Someone should get me into TV therapy. Stat. Anyway, I'm so happy that Nikki Cox found work, even if it was conveniently on the same show that her husband happens to star on, but she really needs to tone down the lips, before she frightens small children.

Moving Right Along

by Angel Cohn May 8, 2008 3:48 PM
I'm not going to lie. I've never liked Speed Racer. Frankly, it just always seemed moronic to me... you know, like Scooby Doo, but with more explosions. Anyway, someone out there must like it since the Wachowski brothers saw fit to make a big insanely colorful cinematic version of it (which I'm quite sure will also be terrible). I guess I vaguely understand the nostalgia factor for people who enjoyed the show when they were young, but I just tried to get through an episode and it really hasn't aged well. Ugh, the dialogue... And every time they talk about the car being a Mach 5, I think of razorblades. Oh, and what is up with the strange man with the little Hitler-style mustache? Give me Grape Ape any day.

The King is Dead

by Lauren Gitlin May 8, 2008 1:23 PM
The King is Dead Everyone is up in arms about the rumors that Ryan Seacrest might be taking over for Larry King if and when old Lightning Rod retires. Ok yes. On the surface of things, this might seem like sacrilege. For one thing, we're talking about Ryan Fucking Seacrest here. I'm not generally a paranoid person, but the Seacrest Sprawl that's been happening in recent years -- the production company, the hosting gig on E! News and Idol, the radio show, not to mention a gig pinch-hitting for Dick Clark on New Years' Eve in 2007 and (kind of brilliant) cameo in Knocked Up -- is getting perilously close to an all-out entertainment monopoly. I mean Christ. I wouldn't rule out the possibility that he's cloned himself and is hatching an evil plot to take over the world. True, he is smug and fake and his teeth are unnaturally white and his strategically placed highlights scream Nancy Boy. We can all agree on that. But here's the thing. Larry King, you guys? He kind of sucks. I mean, duh he is a hard-ass for surviving eight hundred sixty-seven triple-bypass surgeries and for getting married 13 times, and I dare you to find anyone who looks more dapper in a pair of suspenders. But I can't tell you how many times he's left me gape-mouthed at the ill-informed and downright idiotic questions he asks guests on his show. He's like Martin Short's TV host caricature Jiminy Glick, who admits while interviewing Jerry Seinfeld that he's never seen the comedian's eponymous show, but he's told it's funny. The man is a legend, sure. But I think he's interpreted that to mean that when you come on his show, you can't expect him to have wasted his precious time learning who you are or why you're there. You know, like mortal TV journalists are supposed to. I mean come on, he's Larry King!

I'm not sure where I'm going with this, except to say that Seacrest is dumb. But so is Larry. He's just the dumb we know. So everyone needs to chillax.

Britney and Barney: Reunited and It Feels So Good? After all alleged comments from Neil Patrick Harris saying that he didn't think Britney should make a return appearance on How I Met Your Mother, and the backtracking where he said his comments were taken out of context and then the reporters said they weren't and then he made nice and then it became whole long and stupid debacle that took up way too much space in the news, Britney is back on the show next Monday. Check out the too cute and corny for words picture attached, which is the whole reason I just had to write about this. I love the matching sweaters! Apparently Britney (or Abby if you insist on thinking of her as an actual actress playing a character) and Barney (hey, at least we've stopped calling him Doogie) try to get back at Ted who broke their hearts in different ways by flaunting their relationship in his face. Yeah, take that Ted. While I doubt that Brit's return appearance will prove to be the ratings bonanza that her first stint was since last time the gossipmongers tuned in to see a trainwreck and she proved she can handle bit parts so there's little chance of a meltdown this time. Though if the episode does do well, it could push the yet-to-be-renewed show off the bubble and onto another season, but that leaves me with the lingering concern that there will be a revolving door of guest stars used in order to keep this show on the air, and isn't that the same thing that Neil Patrick Harris was worried (or supposedly worried) about in the first place?

Girls Gone Wild

by Angel Cohn May 6, 2008 3:07 PM
How do we love The Bad Girls Club? Let us count the ways. One, Two, Threesome. Cordelia (the i don't know if I'm a lesbian because I never had a chance to explore) and Andrea (I have a boyfriend but I've never let that get in the way of a good time) finally get it on... with an audience. Anyway, our own Dan Manu got a chance to talk to the creator of this trashtastically addictive series and delves deeper into what makes this show work. Here we thought it was just all about the scantily clad women bouncing around in trampolines and the nasty bitchfights. This could be considered NSFW depending on how cool your boss is.

Fun With Grand Theft Auto

by Angel Cohn May 5, 2008 3:31 PM
Yeah, I'd rather be home playing Grand Theft Auto IV too. But since I'm stuck at work, and wasn't smart enough to preorder the game (if I had known Ricky Gervais had a cameo I would have been more proactive), I'm happily settling for watching Conan O'Brien give his amusing take on the tamed down new version of the typical very violent video game. Pretty funny stuff.

TV Mash Ups

by Mindy Monez May 5, 2008 11:00 AM
TV Mash Ups

When corporate synergy and blog fodder collide! The writers of CBS's CSI and Two and a Half Men will swap jobs for one episode each next week, resulting in what will probably be the first funny Two and a Half Men episode in its history and debilitating confusion for CSI's exclusively elderly fanbase.

This made us wonder, what if the other networks made crossover episodes of their shows? And we're off!

Ugly Lindsay Pulls a Britney

by Lauren Gitlin May 2, 2008 1:04 PM
Screw rehab, the best crisis management tactic in the business these days seems to be a sitcom cameo. Just ask Brit-Brit Spears, whose star turn in How I Met Your Mother clocked the show's highest numbers ever. (And marked a successful PR gambit signaling the starlet's return to the straight and narrow.) Hot on the heels of that blockbuster cameo, everyone's other favorite embattled, drug-addled -- hey that rhymed! -- trainwreck is jumping on the proverbial bandwagon. Lindsay Lohan is rumored to once again be negotiating a guest appearance on Ugly Betty. Word is Ms. Blow-han will pop up on the show's season finale and return next season for an eight-episode stint. Assuming she keeps her, uh, nose clean. Early reports tell us Linds will be playing Betty's blue-collar, burger slinging pal, which will be a much bigger stretch than Lohan's previous filmic incarnations as a catty bitch (Mean Girls), a stripper (I Know Who Killed Me), a bratty teenager (Georgia Rule) and a lead-footed driver (Herbie: Fully Loaded). Truth be told, I'm hoping she exceeds my (low) expectations. Much as her former co-stars are always insisting that LiLo really, truly is a genius thespian, albeit a misunderstood one, I've yet to see her top her performance in The Parent Trap. So consider this a challenge, Miss Thang. The gauntlet hath been dropped.
Doesn't Take a Team of Investigators for This One I try and stay out of the celebrity gossip fray, but seriously, this one was just too crazy to ignore. I heard that Gary Dourdan was arrested on drug charges and my first reaction was, "Eh, no big deal." I mean, everyone I know who has met him said that he was a charming guy who happened to bear a certain distinct odor... let's call it Eau du Jason Castro. Anyway, I presume that he was caught smoking some weed in a backlot somwhere and shrugged it off. Come to find out that the CSI star basically created his own crime scene in his car. Good god, can't celebrities learn to hire drivers already? Dourdan was caught with "suspected cocaine, heroin, Ecstacy, miscellaneous prescription drugs and paraphernalia" and the only reason that he got spotted by the police was that he was sleeping in his vehicle, which was parked on the wrong side of the street. Really? Could he not afford a hotel room? CSI has got to pay better than that. Anyway, the reports don't really have the juicy details on what the CSI honchos have to say about this one yet, or what Dourdan's status on the show will be, or if he'll be reprimanded. In the meantime, he's apparently already back at work. Either way, is it wrong that I'm seriously hoping for a buddy cop action series starring Dourdan and Kiefer Sutherland in the future? It could totally have a Shield vibe to it and they'd tackle the tougher side of law enforcement all while coping with their own personal demons. Vice Squad, anyone?

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

by Lauren Gitlin April 30, 2008 12:58 PM
Gary Coleman and his 22-year-old bride Shannon appeared in Divorce Court yesterday (A televised divorce, that's classy!) in an effort to salvage their seven-month marriage. According to Shannon, the bone of contention was Coleman's child-like antics. She told Inside Edition, "If he doesn't get his way, he throws a temper tantrum like a five-year-old does." Ahem. What's that old chestnut about not judging a book by its cover? Here's our revised version: If it looks like a five-year-old and acts like a five-year-old, do not marry it. Alas, if only wifey -- who by our calculations was born in 1986 -- had actually been alive when this vintage episode of Diff'rent Strokes aired, perhaps she'd have understood what she was in for.

Geeks Over and Out?

by Angel Cohn April 29, 2008 2:15 PM
Geeks Over and Out?

Variety is reporting that this season will likely be the end of the line for Beauty and the Geek. Really? Is that show still even on? Seriously though this news should come as little surprise to anyone who has been a fan of the show. The current season tried to change the format completely and pit the hot chicks against the little nerdlings they were supposed to be helping. Long gone are the friendships and eagerness of the participants to transform into a smarter girl or a hipper guy, and now the show is all about the competition.

Spy Games

by Angel Cohn April 29, 2008 1:49 PM
Our Brilliant But Cancelled blogger was raving about I Spy and how it was such a groundbreaking show. I had never personally seen an episode, so I figured I'd give it a whirl, what's the harm right? Well, I don't think it is going to win me over as a fan, despite the fact that Robert Culp looks surprisingly good without his shirt on. It is fun to watch Archie Bunker as an evildoer with an accent torturing and brainwashing our hero, but the overly dramatic and weird score is giving me a headache. Wait, am I being the one tortured here? I'm sure my kid some day will say the same thing about my love of Alias with its sexy and pounding electronic beats. Anyway, I'm sure there may be a good show hidden somewhere in there... feel free to try for yourself if you can handle the pain.

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Manic Mondays

by Angel Cohn April 28, 2008 3:50 PM
How is it possible that so many of my favorite fun shows (some of which I'm ashamed to be watching) have landed on Monday nights? It is like an embarrassment of riches for those who favor teen dramas or reality TV (or in some cases both). My DVR and TiVo are both about ready to explode. In addition to mainstream stuff like House, Bones Samantha Who?, Dancing With the Stars and How I Met Your Mother, there's an over abundance guilty pleasures on too. If you aren't watching... you are missing out on some juicy (and usually hot-bodied) entertainment (if you are into that kind of thing).

Change Is Good

by Angel Cohn April 28, 2008 10:48 AM
Actually, change is usually bad, but in the case of House moving to Monday nights, it could be kind of a good thing. It doesn't honestly matter when they put this show on, people, like me, will seek it out, but paired with Bones it is the perfect procedural combination. Different shows, different topics, but the cantankerous House with his loyal team of brainiac doctors, and the nerdy Brennan and her loyal team of geeky scientists, are a natural fit. If you, like me, have forgotten what the heck happened the last time House aired (because it has been a freakin' while) check out the last episode about a Jewish woman who gets sick on her wedding day. Let's just say that House thinks she's lying and using drugs. Shocker!

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Nerds Everywhere are Happy

by Angel Cohn April 25, 2008 4:08 PM
I love Seth Green, he's one of the few people from Buffy who I refer to using their real name instead of their character name when I see them in other projects. Trust me, this comes up way more frequently then you would think. Anyway, I love him. I even sat through the most mind-numblingly boring and massively disapointing panel at New York Comic Con last weekend just to hear him talk about Robot Chicken: Star Wars for a few short minutes. Yeah, I've got a problem. Anyway, to celebrate Earth Week, Conan O'Brien had him on pretty much just because of his name. Funny segment, where they reference all sorts of geeky things. To top it off, the entire time I'm watching it, I can't help but think that because of the tremendous height and body type difference between the two of them, it sort of looks like that scene in the first Lord of the Rings movie where Gandalf and Frodo are riding in the cart and one is gigantic (that would be Conan in this scenario) and one is just an itty bitty hobbit (that would be Seth). I need a life... too bad I'm off to see a Star Wars exhibit this weekend.

What Time Is It?

by Angel Cohn April 25, 2008 3:25 PM
Summertime. The time when reality TV rules the land, with only reruns and a scarce few scripted dramas to break up the onslaught of wannabes desperately grasping their 15 minutes of fame. Yes, we just got scripted television back, but don't get too attached. Instead, you'll be subjected (if you choose to stay inside and watch television) to the latest addition to the juggernaut that is High School Musical. The inevitable reality series High School Musical: Summer Session is casting now, with drama kings and queens from all over the country hoping to either be the next Zac Efron or Ashley Tisdale. Why do I think -- based on experiences with my high school drama club and the non-existent careers that the "stars" or our big spring musicals have had since then -- that this is pretty freakin' unlikely? Anyway, I do like Nick Lachey who hosted one of my winter guilty pleasures Clash of the Choirs (I know... I'm so ashamed, OK?). The former Newlywed (see it could be worse... it could have been the other one) will be encouraging teens to live their dreams and will probably have to suffer through more versions of "Breaking Free" than any one person should ever have to hear. This show could be bubbly and cute and a hit with the youngsters (and i'm ashamed to admit, me), or it could be as awful and insufferable as last summer's Grease: You're the One That I Want debacle. I knew one of the finalists of that show and still could barely stomach it. Worse still... the actual production with the winners that is on Broadway now. Pain-ful. But I digress, the winner of HSM:SS will recieve some very ambigous prize described as a chance to become "part of High School Musical history." Which I take to mean that if the series is a flop, they'll get to be an extra at a party or whatnot in one of the upcoming installments.

Well Hung

by Angel Cohn April 24, 2008 4:00 PM
I've been giggling about the premise of the new HBO series Hung all morning. Basically it is about a middle-aged man with a bigger than average member who walks softly and decides to use his big stick to get further in life. I'm snickering like a 13-year-old boy instead of the 30-something-year-old woman that I am. Oh no, what if his last name is Johnson. Wait, better yet, what if his name is Dick Johnson. Oh god, that would be so incredible. Sadly, I can't stop myself from laughing, and it is really, depressing because I'm all alone here at TWoP HQ today. So I'm giggling to myself and coming up with lame penis-related jokes. Real mature. Anyway, my excitement and laughter finally died down when I got past the premise and read that one of the masterminds of this um, probing new project was the same guy who created The Riches. Damn it. Such interesting source material from the one person who can make it so boring that I want to gouge my eyes out. Sigh.
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Make It Sparkle

by Angel Cohn April 24, 2008 2:38 PM
Honestly, I just had to. I've got no other explanation as to why I felt compelled to make another How I Met Your Mother video, my clip of the day. I love me some Dawson and crazy Canadian humor. Hope you do too. Sorry --In my head I'm saying it So-ree-- if you don't. Enjoy!

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