There are four major laws of the 2 Broke Girls universe, as seen last night in "And the Pearl Necklace":
1. The hardest-hitting punch lines should either be about notoriously hated celebrities or taboo sex acts.
2. If something is pink, involves cosmetology, musicals or is not traditionally "masculine," it is gay.
3. Other female characters are only around to make Caroline and Max look cooler, for Sophie to compete with or for Oleg to hit on.
4. When in doubt, make a hipster joke.
While "And the Pearl Necklace" was in no way the worst episode of this series I've seen, I found myself waiting around to all of these marks to get hit -- and they did, multiple times. Before I start listing off everything terrible about this episode, there were two things I really enjoyed: Sophie saying that her favorite animal is DayGlo zebra, and, more importantly, the Sprinkles Cupcake ATM, which is a very real thing (in case you didn't look for yourself last night, or when they mentioned it on Bunheads).
The reason I was impressed by the whole Sprinkles subplot is because 2 Broke Girls pretty much got everything right about the reality of the situation while using it to move the plot forward in a logical way. (They even used an actual cupcake from Sprinkles, or at least a very accurate copycat!) It makes sense to base an episode around the emergence of 24-hour cupcake ATMs because it threatens Max and Caroline's business. This is a huge development for this show, because plot is usually based around completely inaccurate and outdated jokes about, say, the New York City subway system being horribly dangerous and disgusting. It actually makes me wonder if 2 Broke Girls would thrive if the girls packed up and moved to Los Angeles, a place where the writers actually know about, where instead of distracting and bizarre plot devices and stereotypes (though the Laundromat-turned-club from "And the '90s Horse Party" did actually happen in Brooklyn, to be fair), this show could be, I don't know, a fun sitcom about two friends trying to start a business.
Until then, I'm going to wait patiently for For a Good Time Call..., a movie that does exactly what I just described, to come out on DVD, and think about how 2 Broke Girls is basically just everything I hate about HBO's Girls, plus a horse. You can thank moments like these for that:
- "I'm gonna be your waitress 'cause my mother drank," and the ten other jokes about Max's absent mother in this episode. (Also, what is up with the opening being completely removed from the rest of the episode? Even the "Previouslies" started after the theme song.)
- The complains about how "vagina's gone mainstream" and how there's "vaginas everywhere," which excites Oleg because of course it does.
- Han happily announcing he got stress balls from the restaurant convention he went to, and then Max telling him to "go in the back and take care of [himself]."
- The show seriously dedicating time to a Sophie-Oleg side plot, which included gags about crotchless underwear being a great low-carb snack and how Sophie likes sticking things up of Olegs butt.
- Caroline revealing that Oleg used to regularly show the ladies his penis, because what's funnier than a man exposing himself to uninterested young women?
- Max once beat HPV with Tylenol. (Actually, maybe this one was kind of funny.)
- The return of Chestnut.
- "This thing has been plugged more than the Kardashian sisters!"
- Caroline's new necklace is limp, anemic and lackluster -- like an Olsen twin.
- "Just got a little damp."
- The pink cupcake ATM is like a
gay gayer R2-D2... because it's pink.
- "No one has any luck, with the possible exception of Lindsay Lohan's lawyer." (Anyone else notice that there was still laugh track when Max and Caroline went outside?!)
- "I've had plenty of pearl necklaces, and I find them more sticky than lucky." (Though, honestly, the fact that there was only one really dirty pearl necklace joke in this episode is kind of impressive.)
Minute I stopped paying attention and had to rewind: 0:17
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