Normally I look forward to summer lineups of shows. Lots of inconsequential programming that rots my brain while I sit in front of a fan and sip margaritas. But I already rotted my brain while bundled up with hot cocoa during the writers' strike. So the prospect of watching some of the recently announced CBS summer programming doesn't exactly thrill me. The Greatest American Dog? Really? A doggie beauty pageant? Is this what we've come to? Worse? Jingles, a competitive reality show where people try and come up with jingles for products. Isn't that what advertisers are for? I fast-forward through commercials. I'm not going to sit through an entire show about them, and if I do, it's going to be Mad Men, not this. Of course there's also another season of Big Brother. Poor Julie Chen, and poor me. I've been watching this irritating season and could really use some time to decompress before another season starts.

To be fair, there are a couple of interesting prospects on the map. The Regis Philbin hosted Million Dollar Password, which has celebs helping contestants figure out words. They even got Betty White who was a frequent guest on the original series since she was married to Password host Allen Ludden. For this game show geek, that's kinda cool. And then there's Swingtown, which is not a dancing reality series, but instead a '70s era drama about the sexual and social revolution. Translation: Lots of wife swapping. Promising. Also, Flashpoint, a drama about cops who fight off gangs and difuses bombs. Since I don't have The Shield to watch, this just may fill the void. Let's hope its good and gritty and goes well with margaritas.

Ever since I watched the Comedy Central benefit this weekend with Gob, er, Will Arnett, I've been in an Arrested Development sort of mood. Plus, seeing Kevin James' Blue Man Group schtick seemed lame in comparison to Tobias'. And watching Judy Greer on the cute, but not nearly as funny as it should be, Miss Guided, makes me miss the cross-eyed Kitty Sanchez flashing her tatas at Michael at any opportunity. God, this show was so brilliant. Here's a little taste, just to get you through the day.

I've talked to David Boreanaz on a number of occasions and aside from the time that he didn't believe that my real name was Angel (long story), he's always been pleasant and laid back when we've chatted. This was also the case on Friday during his conference call with reporters where he was hyping the return of Bones (which has been moved, again, to a new night). He happily dished about his producing status and how he really doesn't care so much about the on-going serial killer storyline that's been happening this season, as it isn't the goal of the show. "For me, I've always maintained that the show is the relationship, maintained that the show is about the characters and I maintain that the show is about the two of us [Brennan, played by Emily Deschanel, and Booth, played by Boreanaz] learning through the crimes and that journey that we take. That, to me, is the most important part." He then happily gabbed about how he created this character and the research that he did.

And that's saying alot because I saw Sarah Silverman sing "Amazing Grace" out of her vagina and ass on the Comedy Central autism benefit. But Ashton Kutcher 's creepy little homicidal candy bar on SNL took the oddly amusing cake. Clever idea, I'd love to know which writer came up with that skits, but big extra credit comes up to the person who decided to give Ashton the white clownish makeup. Perfectly creepy. The sketch tickled my funny bone, while preying on my fears of dying from binge eating and being attacked by clowns all at the same time. And as a bonus it wasn't gross like SNL's Activia sketch.



Talk about SNL.

Last Comic Standing is one of those shows I have a serious love/hate relationship with. I keep coming back for more, even though nine times out of 10 I'm left feeling disappointed by our time together. Hoping to put some spice back into the show and well... maybe make it... I don't know.. funny? NBC has decided to have some of their past and current stars help out scouting the talent. Familiar faces from Cheers, like George Wendt and John Ratzenberger, along with the huggable and adorably funny NewsRadio star Dave Foley, will join some others during the audition process. All I can say is "Thank God." Now these people are actually funny, unlike host Bill Bellamy who really does nothing for me. Hopefully the celebs will be able to recognize some talent in other people. And then, fingers crossed for this because it is a long shot, America will keep the clever and funny people on the show instead of voting them off early on. I still don't get really get last season's one-note winner Jon Reep. Anyway. Hopefully this judging twist will keep me from breaking up and making up with this show several times throughout the season, and give me hope for a nice long future together.

Everyone's trying to get a little piece of that American Idol pie. Even TLC's hopping onto the bandwagon with their horrible sounding new show, which pits office workers against each other in a singing competition. Whatever happened to company baseball teams? At least then there was no assault on my tender eardrums. Joey "I used to be in N'Sync and had another singing show where tone deaf people mangled lyrics" Fatone is co-hosting with Spice Girls Mel B. How'd she get involved in this auditory nightmare? Anyway, the Dancing With the Stars alums will try to snag a few more minutes of fame by surprising offices and doing on-site auditions (good god, please don't come here!), then the chosen few will get to perform a singing/dancing number in a competition against another group from another business. While I'm sure that every office has one secret karaoke addict, that doesn't mean that viewers should have to hear their warbling, unless there is a bunch of alcohol involved. I've heard some of my former co-workers trying out tunes in the hallways. Not pretty. Not to mention that I'm sure bosses around the country will be thrilled about the workplace productivity when The Singing Office comes town in this time of economic troubles. For now, I'll stick to trying to beat Rock Band... at home, where no one has to hear me.

It's been buzzed about for a while that ABC might pick up Scrubs (since NBC has no interest in the comedy). Their goal is to give the show the final season send-off that it should have gotten, before the writer's strike went and mucked everything up. Oh, and they want to make a little money too. But now they are reportedly eyeing the CBS's New Adventures of Old Christine. Do they not have any of their own ideas for funny stuff, that they want to be known as the home for other network's dumped (or potentially dumped) shows? Are they just being frugal, instead of launching new series from scratch and raising viewer awareness, they can just say, "Hey, you kind of liked this show, come watch it over here?" Not a terrible plan from a budget standpoint, but do they really want to be known as the leftover network? Hawking formerly tasty treats in a new package, branded as today's cup of tea? Too much of that could leave viewers with a bad taste in their mouths. Then again, this is the same network that's bringing back According to Jim (again), clearly bad taste isn't something they are worried about. At least Scrubs and Christine would be a step up.

I recently got back from the swanky Rainbow Room, where reporters and advertisers were treated to an upfront, or as NBC liked to call it, an Infront. Same difference, six weeks earlier. Some good stuff, not a lot of new news per se, but some potentially promising stuff. Most of the talk was about how they were "resting" shows (aka giving viewers time to miss them), creating a 52 week schedule, hyping the Olympics and their other big events and debuting their summer 2009 schedule. Yup. Summer 2009. I can't even plan a vacation for Summer 2008 and they've already got that all mapped out. That's some planning ahead, they "believe in it," but whether they stick to it or not is another thing entirely.

 

If you happen to be an avid (closeted) Tonight Show viewer, it is no surprise to you that Jay Leno often takes satisfaction in scrounging old footage of his guests in hopes of embarrassing them on the air (oh Jay, you silly thing, you!). Last week, while Ryan Phillippe was on the show to promote Stop-Loss, Leno decided to whip out an old fact about Ryan's first gig as a gay teen on One Life to Live. Trying to make a mundane joke out of the whole gay thing (great material right there, let me tell ya), Leno began to heckle Phillippe to give the camera his "gayest" look. Ryan was a good sport about it and opted not to "go there," but if I were him, I probably would've turned the coffee table around and made Jay give the camera his funniest look, since both are equally as impossible to do. Oh snap!

In lieu of Leno's public apology yesterday, I bring to you the gayest interview ever:



Well, I'm glad whoever that hyena laugh belonged to in the audience enjoyed that. Leno will be here 'til 2009, folks. Try the veal, it's fabulous.

Think Marissa Jaret Winokur is annoying on Dancing With the Stars? You should see this very grating clip from Stacked (though to be fair, she was far from the worst thing about that show). I actually adored the spunky plus-size Winokur in her Tony-winning role in Hairspray, but since then she's been typecast (or perhaps just cast judging by her appearance on Dancing) as a whiny, irritating girl instead of the confident person she portrayed in Hairspray. She does have a dance background, if she toned down the voice a bit and tried to endear herself to the American public, she could probably go far (or at least further) on Dancing With the Stars and be a good role model for curvy girls everywhere. Instead, she'll likely get axed tonight leaving the more demure (and skinnier) contestants to compete for the trophy.

Discuss Marissa on Dancing here.