Perhaps because of their pared down schedule, for their big upfront presentation, ABC skipped out on the normal benes of these sorts of shindigs. (Though I was in the satellite room anyway). No big fancy party and no parade of celebs, just a simple press conference, with a little bit of stand-up comedy from Jimmy Kimmel. Ben Affleck's boy toy said, "They are concentrating less on an after party and working on making shows that aren't Cavemen." OK, that was kind of amusing, but most of his digs were at the expense of rival network NBC. Regarding ABC picking up Scrubs, "Always a good idea to borrown shows from the people in last place" or NBC calling their upfronts "infronts" because "they are just in front of CW." His best bit was his reality show creation wheel. Which consisted of three Wheel of Fortune style wheels with random words on it, which he spun to create "America's Hairiest Omarosa" and "The Amazing Fattest Fifth Grader."

Then on to the world's most boring presentation ever. I realize these things are aimed mostly at advertisers, but even their eyes must have glazed over during this presentation that involved a lot of math delivered by a kind of boxy and intimidating guy. I'd buy from him, even if I had no idea what he was talking about, because he scared me. I wouldn't want him coming after me.

Mondays for ABC are basically staying the same, but Boston Legal returns for its final season in the 10 pm spot in the fall (The Bachelor will live in the post Dancing With the Stars/Samantha Who? spot). Tuesdays at 8 is one of the new shows, Opportunity Knocks. This new series is a reality show from mastermind Ashton Kutcher. Basically they visit someone's house without them knowing (um, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition?) and then make a game show on their block. Then they ask the family questions about each other (um, Amnesia?) and some involve them ransacking their own house. One kid is put on a quest to find his sister's diary (um, Fun House? Though I could be thining that because J.D. Roth is hosting). The rest of Tuesday the Dancing With the Stars results show and Eli Stone. Wednesday stays exactly the same. I really miss Pushing Daisies.

Thursday kicks off with the winning combo (sorry, apparently I've fallen for their promotional spin) of Ugly Betty (they didn't even bring up the potential move to New York, whatever) and Grey's Anatomy. At 10 is the only other new show on the British import, Life on Mars. This remade version of the very cool BBC series, stars the dreamy Jason O'Mara as a detective who is investigating a case in present day and is hit by a car and sent back to 1972. Let's just say, the preview that they showed didn't look horrible, but it definietly seemed to lose something in translation, to say the very least. Friday night is the stellar combo of Supernanny, Wife Swap and 20/20. Well, at least I don't have to set my DVR for any of that. Saturday is Football or whatnot and then Sunday stays as is. Big surprise.

For midseason, they didn't have many specifics, but they've got a show from the braintrust of Ashton Kutcher (they really love him apparently) and Tyra Banks. Scrubs, which they are snagging from NBC. Lost will be back, natch. A new series called Four Play from the Will & Grace masterminds about four people and three relationships. Best friends and their significant others. It sounds um, interesting, I guess, but since there wasn't anything to see and no cast, its really hard to judge. An animated series called The Goode Family from the King of the Hill team about a family who is environmentally friendly and vegan. Could be cute, but there was literally only one still piece of art to see. I watch TV for a living. I need more visuals. Or normally I would, but sometimes I don't want visuals. That was the case with In the Motherhood, a series that did well on the internet apparently. It looks horrifying, but if you want to watch, check it out at inthemotherhood.com... or not. I'd lean towards not. Need some reasons? Leah Remini and Jenny McCarthy are struggling moms who want to have sex... or something to that extent. Baffling.

As for hot fun in the summertime? There's not that much to be had. Sure there's the High School Musical reality series, which is sure to appeal to teens (and well, me). And then this awful series called Wipeout, which is a messy obstacle course which contestants have to try and complete. Basically it looks like a ripoff of one of my favorite guilty pleasures, Ninja Warrior, but bad. These contestants look ridiculous and like big famewhores instead of actual athletes. I'd rather watch American Gladiators.

So that was it. Pretty lackluster... well, except for the preview clip of the Lost finale where we saw the Oceanic Six being reunited with their families. That was awesome.