In a move that is seriously making my head spin, TNT is making an Americanized version of Cracker (the popular BBC show about a drunken detective, starring Hagrid). The fact that TNT is doing this isn't a big surprise, we remake British shows all the time. Just look at Viva Laughlin (actually don't) and the forthcoming (maybe) Life on Mars. We just love to take quality shows and create our own take on them, without the confusing accents and lingo. It is just too taxing for us dumb Americans to figure out what a lift is apparently.

Guess who's been cast as an assassin-slaughtering super-badass in an upcoming big-budget action flick. This guy! (Maybe he'll wash away the world's evil with ... his tears?)

Proof positive that the porn 'stache has reached critical mass and that the soft-rock renaissance is just getting started: according to Billboard, a cartoon starring John Oates (of Hall & Oates, duh) and his magical mustache is being shopped around to various networks. If all goes according to plan, J-Stache will focus on a buttoned up, family -oriented Oates whose infamous mustache is trying to lure him back into the rock & roll lifestyle.

It is as though the good lord has been peeking in at my dreams. Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane has partnered with Google to produce a new series of two minute animated web shows called Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy. (As an aside, you guys are aware that web shows are the new black, right?) This is good news for the attention deficit cartoon-o-philes among us. In fact, I'd venture a guess that the majority of cartoon-o-philes by definition have a goodly touch of the ADHD, being that we all have the emotional maturity of a seven-year old and think that Corn Pops is a perfectly good dinner. All of MacFarlane's good bits are 2 minutes or under anyway. In fact, some of the best ones are no longer than 7 seconds.

One of these shows... maybe. The Academy of Arts and Sciences has released a list of the 10 comedy contenders and 10 top dramas that are in the running to be nominated for Emmys. Now, there's some good stuff on the list, along with some obvious shows that were overlooked (wouldn't be the Emmys if they didn't ignore some quality shows) and there is definitely a chance that we could have a good final five in both categories. ...Well, if the panel that's narrowing down the field does a decent job, which is where we come in. There are some tough choices, but here's what we'd like to see make the cut.

Holy jeez! The Fly is gonna be on Law & Order Criminal Intent you say? He is gonna be replacing Chris Noth, who will be departing after this season wraps you say? Well I just don't know what to think! I mean, Goldblum is a foxy Cleopatra and all, and as we saw on his short-lived NBC show Raines, he can deffies handle a role as a quirk-tastic police detective. But no more Noth is like no more Jerry Orbach: Just plain wrong. The upside of this new development is that we can most assuredly expect a spectacular Dick Wolf-ian send-off for good old Mike Logan. No budget cut-backs or polite pink slips for this guy. Not even a shot-in-the-line-of-duty plot twist is his equal. I'm thinking a car bomb with wicked pyrotechnics or a hostage situation gone bad or, hell, maybe a botched plastic surgery that he was getting for an "undercover" thingy he claimed he was doing. But something cray cray. I will accept no less.

With the recent addition of Wipeout to the world of stupid shows where people make themselves look like idiots in order to earn some cash money, we've decided to take a look back at some of the really ridiculous shows that involve rewarding those with little or no talent with cash. While Wipeout just barely missed making the cut, there are some others that are horrifyingly bad and are contributing to the downfall of quality television just as much as an average episode of The Bachelorette. That's not to say that some of these aren't entertaining to watch, but that doesn't really make them intelligent TV.

As you might have deduced, we here at TWOP are borderline obsessed with The Office and thus deem any and all newsy tidbits related to the show worthy of posts. So forgive me for being so effing stoked about the following Office nuggets:

1) Steve "Awesomer Than Jesus" Carrell has inked a deal that commits him to three more years as the fantastic Michael Scott. Rejoice, mother effers!

2) A clip from an upcoming Office teaser webisode, which will air July 10th, has leaked online. It features Kevin making a bumbling attempt to get a bank loan for an ice cream company whose strategy seems to be buying other ice cream, giving the flavors funny names and reselling it. [Via Videogum]

That is all. Carry on.

I admit I'm not a Joss Whedon fanatic like some (read: all) TWoP staffers are. So I was shocked and awed at the fuzzy, excited feeling I got when I watched the teaser for Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Whedon's three-part online movie/musical starring Neil Patrick Harris as a doofy supervillain to Nathan Fillion's equally doofy superhero. I suspect the presence of Doogie has a lot to do with it, being that he can do no wrong in my (correct) opinion. As Angel reported back in March, the plot centers on a classic struggle between good and evil (with show tunes!), and the catalyst is a cute girl in a laundromat -- isn't that always the way! -- who'll be played by Felicia Day. Still not clear when the first installment will be available, though internet buzz seems to indicate it will be up sometime in July. Peep the trailer [via Pop Candy] and commence plotzing!

Are casting directors, showrunners and network executives purposely trying to conspire to force me to stop watching my favorite shows? Seriously, people. I'm OK with a little bit of stunt casting, but I've about had it up to here (gesturing approximately 12 inches above my head) with the starlets who find more fame on the pages of the tabloids than from doing any actual work, coming onto my favorite shows and mucking things up and then getting a lot of credit when the show gets a ratings boost.